So it's been 14 days. Working downtown is hard at lunchtime. I can find anything and everything I ever wanted for lunch within a few blocks of my office. At first, I would get away from my desk and walk the skywalk but that was too hard....I was starving and everything smelled so good! But since Monday I have had a breakthrough. I have walked with the girls from work to get their lunch and wasn't even hungry! No desire to cheat! I'm finding I have more willpower than I ever thought imaginable.
And that's really the biggest lesson I've learned so far. I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought. Fasting is not about food. It's about refraining from something that could potentially be replacing God or blocking you from Him. It's about releasing the false god of food (in my case....it may be something entirely different for you) and seeking the Truth instead.
Another thing I've learned is it's not about just this 40 days of fasting. What would all of this be for if at the end of the 40 days I am back to my "old ways" of idolizing something other than God? Seems I can't seek God with just my words and not my heart. I must do both and live a life pleasing to God rather than just pleasing me.
Ok. If you know me at all you are probably thinking I've gone off the deep end. In fact, my ex-husband told me he read my blog the other day and that I was "weirding him out." I didn't know what to do with that. I can be honest here, right? Well here goes....I really wanted to knock his head off. Really. I was hurt and offended and frankly a little confused. It was then that I knew I was not the same person as I was when he and I met 13 years ago. There is nothing in me that is the same (except his ability to push my buttons obviously).
THANK GOD.
I continue to grow and change as God continues to mold me into what He made me to be. Doesn't matter if I'm weirding Tim out....only matters that I'm looking up and seeking His opinion of me.
14 days down, a lifetime of days to go....
JC is my BFF!
“No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind. Then when you call, the Lord will answer. ‘Yes, I am here,’ he will quickly reply." ~ Isaiah 58:6-9
5 comments:
My new mantra is there is a reason they are an ex. Repeat after me. If people think you are different or weird, GOOD. Most people have no direction, goals or morals anymore. Hold up your head humbly and go forward with faith. Knowing you are different and blessed is a positive, no matter how many point their fingers and push buttons.
God does say we are a peculiar people.. that we are strangers and aliens... that we are not of this world... hmmmm. sounds a bit weird to me! and, the world does not, cannot!, understand the mysteries and not-conforming-to-the-world bits of following Christ. keep up the pursuit of your Father and His heart for you... strength to you today! :)
I am continually reminded that I am not the same person I once was. I enjoy those reminders. I really do.
Glad you're enjoying them, too.
So proud of your strength! It's not that you are weird but maybe your ex sees something about you or in you that he wishes to have and doesn't know how to get it.
Keep up the good work. I know God is healing your heart from some stuff that is painful, but the end result is worth it!
Stay strong!
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