It's crazy how far one can come without really even noticing it on a day to day basis. It's the middle of May and while my journey to find the real me has been on going for several years, it really only kicked into high gear last fall.
A string of unfortunate, but most certainly God-inspired events started the ball rolling. At first that "ball" was chasing me. I didn't want to find ME....I was so much happier pretending. Eventually God, as He so elequently does, woke me up and I found myself exhausted by my constant running away. I was finally in agreement that it was time. Time to search, time to reveal and time to accept.
Yesterday at church was the first time that I TRULY realized how much I have changed. It was during the service that I finally see how far God has brought me. It's been a long, exhausting journey but I finally see the fruit of that labor.
I have a softer, gentler, kinder heart that used to be black and hard. With that I now have forgiveness in my heart that used to hold much bitterness and pain. I have new, brighter eyes with which to see the world....eyes that used to stare at the ground for fear that someone might see the real me. I am so very grateful for God's molding and shaping of my personality and my thoughts. He was mighty to save me and save me He did.
My very favorite verse of all time is Phillipians 4:13 ~ "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME."
And I can.
Because He does.