Swirling....

"In His hand, little becomes much."

I'm swirling today. Just sorta not all together here....or there. My mind racing and going 1,000 different directions.

I was pretty frustrated with my daughter last night. I forgot how selfish teenagers can be at times and I'd had it. Between me needing to drop everything to do HER MUDDY, STINKY soccer laundry, feeding her dinner (yes....we had our predictable "which gravy is better with chicken fried steak....brown or classic country" discussion at dinner....AGAIN**) and the poor little thing not being able to text for an hour and a half last night because her phone is half busted, I was at my wits end with her.

** And for the record, just because the SCHOOL serves brown gravy with chicken fried steak that does NOT mean it is correct....or even good for that matter. Can I get a witness?!?!?

'Course, once her laundry was done, her belly was full and her phone was switched to an old one we still had lying around, I was back to being the "best momma ever."

But I was still frustrated with her.

Or was it really her? Was I just frustrated with life in general and she got the brunt of my frustration? I'm pretty sure it was a 50-50 split....half her, half life. Wait....I gotta be honest....it was more like 100% ME. I hate it when that happens.

Ya see....I'm right in the middle of trying to figure out how to follow God's lead and purpose for my life while at the same time not being disappointed because things He has promised aren't moving fast enough, etc. I have a vision in my head of how it would all work (Mark's business, my business, our families, our relationship, how to serve, etc.) and everyone is happy, but I can't seem to formulate the "plan" and next steps to get started. I want to do it all to the best of my ability while still getting everything else done that needs done.

So, here I sit swirling. Sort of in a funk and honestly it's by choice. It really is much easier to sit here and be frustrated than to get off my bum and move. Move in a way that positions me in a place where God can bless my progress and open doors.

"In His hand, little becomes much."

I heard this statement while watching a sermon yesterday and I cannot get it off my mind. Check it out. YOU WILL BE BLESSED. It speaks to exactly what I am talking about above. About how we have a vision but it feels like nothing is happening. Like God has made a promise for this vision but it hasn't come to pass yet and it sure doesn't feel like it will. Amen, brotha.

What does that mean to me...."In His Hand, little becomes much"??? I see three things:

1) Even the littlest of dreams will be mighty if it is in God's hand.

2) It means give it to Him....unconditionally. Stop giving it and taking it back because God isn't handling it fast enough, or in the way I think it should be handled. His timing is better than mine.....even if He's slllooooowwww. :0)

3) It means stop stressing, let Him do the work ahead of me and work it all out as He said He would.

In that same sermon, I heard this: "...I despaired at the thought that my life might pass me by without God moving greatly on my behalf..." ~ Jim Cymbala

Wow. That's good stuff right there. Could that happen? Could I be in God's way and my life might just pass me by without His moving greatly on my behalf? You bet it could....and that's a scary thought!

So no more sitting here being frustrated that things aren't happening with my business as fast as I want, or that it feels like God is not moving and shaking like I think He should. Nope. It might take me awhile to get myself out of this funk I'm in today but until I do and MOVE, God can't move greatly.....I'M IN HIS WAY.