Every morning when I wake up, I thank God for a new day. A new day to make things right. Not by my standards, certainly. Nothing will ever be right by my own doing. I thank Him for a new day, a new promise. Making things right doesn't mean I go around and try to be good all day and tell everyone how great they are and how sorry I am for the day before. I'd be exhausted before I even left my house.
No....making things right just simply means seeking God's direction BEFORE I open my mouth, BEFORE I judge, BEFORE I fly off the handle.
And I am terrible at it.
Seeking Him first, I mean. Ask anyone I've ever been in a relationship with. Ask co-workers of mine. Ask my girls. With ADD (and this is NOT an excuse....it's the truth), my mind races. Faster than a speeding bullet most of the time. My mouth has already spoken words before my mind can think "DON'T SAY THAT". While in a conversation, this is especially true if a heated one, my mind is thinking ahead of the person talking, coming up with my rebuttal. IT'S FRUSTRATING. Not just for the person I'm talking to but for me as well. It's something my mind has always done. In doing some research (again, I'm ADD....me and reading dry information for an extended period of time don't mix), I've learned a ton about my habits, why they happen, how they are connected. Not much out there on how to change the behaviors so I feel like I am treading in deep water....by myself.
Then God steps in.
He has a way of showing me things just when I am ready to give up. Just when I am ready to say "oh well....this has been me for a very long time. If someone doesn't like it, they can walk away". And people have. Many times. But not God. He has been seeking my heart since before I was born. When others tell me I am no good or that I am crazy (and yes....people have actually said these things), God tells me He loves me. He tells me He has a plan for me. Keep plugging away, searching for the answers I seek. He reminds me that He is holding me up and walking with me on this journey of self discovery.
Others can decide they have an issue they need to deal with and research it and change. I can, too, but just in a different way. It takes me much longer to process information....and not because I'm dumb. ADD minds struggle with where to put new information....which "file" to place the info. Most people might place the word "ball" in the "B" file but I would most likely put it there AND in the "R" for round file. Then the problem comes when I try to retrieve that new found information to share it or remember what I learned, I can't find it because it's stored in an illogical place or because I have too much in too many files....so things are all jumbled up and hard to find. THAT'S FRUSTRATING.
So each morning I wake up and thank God for a new day. A new day to learn more, seek Him first and make things right THROUGH Him. With today being the first day of a new year, I will thank Him today for a new year as well. A new year to refresh and learn and live.
I'm learning about myself....my needs, my must haves and my no ways. 2009 will be a great year for me....much will be discovered and much will be celebrated. It's a new day, a new promise, my friends. What will you do with your new day?
JC is my BFF....