"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny compared to
what lies within us." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you've read any of my previous posts these last few weeks, you'd know that I am on a spiritual journey. One that I believe and hope will take me to my true heart. We all know what is in our past and pray for what we hope will be our future, but really, how many of us know what lies within us?
That's what comes to mind for me. Yikes. It's so easy to just go with the status quo. Maintain my present course. Keep on keepin' on. But God is telling me I can't do that anymore. He wants inside of my heart and He wants to transform it. I have no problem with Him doing this if He'd just get to it already. Why does it have to take so stinkin' long? I'm ready to move on, press forward and get to the good stuff.
What's that you say? God works in His time and not mine?? God's plan does not include asking me for pointers or suggestions on how to get this done and done quicker??
I guess I've learned that my biggest problem is this: My past. It's there in the rear view mirror and it haunts me. Not all the time. Not every day. But it does. Just pops up and rears it's ugly head every once in awhile. I have asked for His forgiveness and I forget that He has truly FORGIVEN. When He washed away my sins, He forgot about them too. Which I'm not sure how that works and why, but it says so right in the bible. So there I must rest my faith. Walk by faith not by sight, they say. I L.O.V.E. to say that, but I rarely practice it myself.
It's the devil that makes me question God's true forgiveness. I'm working hard on remembering what GOD SAYS about me instead:
- He says He made me special....just as I am.
- He says He loves me and will not leave me or forsake me.
- He says I have a place next to Him in heaven.
- He says He is my light and my salvation. Because of Him I shall have no fears.
- He says I am the BOMB BIGGITY BABY. Ok...not really those words but something very similar. :0)
This quote has spoken to me in a couple of ways:
1) What lies behind me is BEHIND me. Don't forget that. What I've done and what others have done to me, DONE. Get over it already. My past is not my shame, but my story.
2) What lies before me is not for me to know or control. God has it all worked out and is getting it all ready as we speak. I can't rush Him (as much as I'd like to!) so I might as well just be happy with where I am. BECAUSE IT SURE AIN'T WHERE I WAS.
3) What lies within me is GOOD. I know that it is because God told me that Himself. Straight from the horse's mouth, folks. He sees my heart and sees what I have left to give to Him to mould and shape and transform.
I have a true peace within me these days. Many regrets, much heartache but a peace that I have never had before. Peace that comes from knowing God is with me, He is working on me and He is handling it all. Peace that comes from letting go (even slowly) the things that I cannot control and the things that have hurt my heart.
So....as I sit here and want to rush God into getting this all done and so I can get to the good stuff, God just reminded me of something else I need to remember and know everyday:
"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." ~ Psalm 27:14
JC is my BFF!