Like no time has passed....

My brother and his family were in town this week from Ohio. I MISS THEM. I only get to see them about once a year (the girls spent a week there in June with my mom) and so when we get together it's always amazing how quickly it's like we just saw each other the day before....no time has passed. We went out for pizza then ice cream. My nephews and Lily have sure grown up. :0(

Miss Lily Bean....

Alli and Cameron....

Have you ever seen a cuter 3 year old???!!!

My brother and Cameron watching Alli text with ONE finger. Both were amazed at her skills. :0)

Brad and Lily...she is the funniest little kid. She only looked at me because he said he'd give her a dollar. Ha! Look at that face!

Brad and Taylor....He is so big compared to her!

That's a nice smile there Taylor....

Lily showing me her feathers she picked up. She wanted my brother to put them in his pocket but she settled for a picture instead.

"Daddy, pweese?" .... he is WRAPPED around her finger.

The reflection of the tree....

So now comes the fun part. Whenever we are together we (ok, ok, I) have to get a picture of the kiddos. Wish I had on my computer one of them when they were all littler...

Same pose....just all being "BA"....they couldn't pull it off if they tried. They are too cute!

Connor - age 9, Lily - age 3, Cameron - age 10 (ALMOST 11!)

Lily being sassy....

Walking the trail....

And their behinds....

With a look like that, it's only a face that his mother (and aunt!) could LOVE.

Carli - age 9, Taylor - age 10 (ALMOST 11!), Lily - age 3, Alli - age 16 (ALMOST 17!), Cameron - age 10 (ALMOST 11!), Connor - age 9

What a bunch of NUTS.....but I love each and every one of them.

Lily.....I wish you could hear her talk and laugh. Her voice is very deep and not at all what you'd expect out of a girly 3 year old. My brother describes her as a "two pack a day trucker"....and it sounds just like that! :0)

Alli and Lily. Lily said before they got there in her trucker voice, "I can't wait to see Alli. She is so beautiful!" :0)

Teaching Lily to text....

Wishing she hadn't created that monster.... :0)

My brother and Alli are tight. He picks on her in love and in response gives him this look.

Flipping of the eyelids. Yuck.

BOYS!!!

The Con-Man....that's the face I remember!!! :0)

Sorry....no pictures of my awesome sister in law except for the back of her head. She avoids me when I have my camera out. :0)

So....here's to family. Here's to only seeing them once a year because they live 3 states away, but loving them like they live right next door.

WE LOVE YOU B, C, C, C & L!!!

My girl Taylor....

Taylor will be turning 11 in a few days. Headed into 6th grade and all the drama that goes along with being a girl, being a pre-teen in junior high and all the life changes that will come in the next few years. I took this photo in her favorite jeans. For her birthday, I'm planning to put it in a cute frame to remind her that she is who is is....the only approval she needs is God's.

Pray for her (and me!) to get through these next few crazy years and that she remembers all of God's promises to her.....

It's gonna be ok....

Been brewing my thoughts and reflections on the art fest last weekend. My thoughts are really all over the place.

Turns out....I'm my own toughest critic.

I know....shocker.

It started out a little rough. The wind was pretty strong so all my best laid plans on how things should be set up went out the window. What's that you say? God snickers at our fleshy plans? His ways are better than ours? I know, I know.

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On a side note....I do get a kick out of imagining how God sees me. I imagine He has a fabulous sense of humor and that He really does laugh with me on a daily basis. I imagine that I entertain Him with my quirky-ness and random thoughts and funky dance moves whenever the mood strikes me. I imagine that He does shake His head at me when I doubt Him or the abilities that He has given me. I imagine that I make Him happy and I make Him mad. But ya know....we're cool. He's my homeboy and all.....

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Find the lesson, Bec....was my mantra of the day.

Mark and Alli both were very encouraging telling me the "booth" looked fine. I was frustrated and needed to walk away.

Ya see.....I'm ornery. And a very visual person. What is in my mind is "correct" and often times getting things to look and be as they are in my mind is totally not a realistic expectation. I know that.

So walk away I did. Took a breather and remembered perfection is not possible. I was there for a reason....to find the lesson.

So I did. Find the lesson, I mean:

1) Thank God for a beautiful day. It could not have been nicer out, even though it was windy.

2) Thank God for Mark, Alli, Sarah, Taylor, Carli, Michaela and Grant....all there to help, support, encourage. (All there for the killer shaved ice we got to enjoy for FREE....I'm just sayin').

3) While I do not know God's full intention for me or my photography, the desire, the drive and the talent is something that He placed in ME. Photography is something that I enjoy. The selling? Not so much. The seeing God in the little things behind the lens? Very much. Follow His lead. Believe what He has told me. Close my eyes and listen. It's there. He is talking and leading me. All I need to do is listen and follow.

and most important....

4) As people flip through the matted photos, listen to the comments. Watch their faces. Some will like, some will not. Some will comment, some will not. Some will buy, some will not. But ALL will see GOD....even if they don't know it.

Will I do it again? I don't know. I did sell 4 photos....one to a fellow photographer (a pretty nice compliment, I'd say, since we are all very fond of our own photos and, well, could take it ourselves if we wanted!). It was a successful day. Just not sure about next steps.

And as my sweet Mark would say..."It's all gonna be ok."

My "booth"....

Basket of matted photos....

The Art Fest was actually very fun and family friendly. Many blow up rides for the kids, a chalk drawing contest, food, kids got to tye die, paint and play with clay. Westwinds Church did a great job showing the community a good time (and making sure God was in there). This is Alli's chalk drawing.

Sarah is having issues with the end of the summer being here already. :0)

Grant's chalk drawing....a very talented artist, I'd say.

This is Taylor working over a hunk of clay. When I took it I thought of how God is the potter and we are the clay. Pretty sure He has even used the sharp end of that tool to mold me into His creation.

The outcome of all that workin' and pokin' and moldin'. A "beautiful" creation. We don't see ourselves as beautiful at all, but like God, Taylor thought her creation was AWESOME.

' "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." ' ~Isaiah 55:8-9

Grip....

Fear. It has a strong grip on my heart right now.

And. I. Don't. Like. It.

This post is gonna be messy, people. Consider yourself forewarned.

I'm scared. Out of my mind.

Why?

TOMORROW. Tomorrow is my very first art fair. I signed up for one last November. Paid some good money to get in. Panicked and backed out. Didn't get my money back either. Why did I back out? Because I'm a freakin' CHICKEN, that's why.

FAILURE.

I fear it. Just writing that word freaks me out. I cannot fail. Yet I have many times and yet I still get out of bed in the morning and the world still turns. So WHY do I still fear failure so much when I've never keeled over dead from it before????

That's the question of the day, my friends.

I KNOW that God has a plan for this. I know it because HE opened this door.

I got an email from a friend a month or so ago. She is really one of my biggest cheerleaders. Email said that her church was having its second annual art fest at a local park on August 1st. She thought I should get my stuff together and DO IT. I said YEAH!!!! Knowing how I retreat at the first sign of pressure, I still did it.

Got some info from the event planners. Free to vendors. Hallelujah ('cuz I'm cheap). Send in a check for $75 to secure a spot. They won't cash the check....but return it when I check in. Again, hallelujah. All you need, Ms. Vendor, is a tent and your own tables. Cool. I can buy that stuff. But I couldn't. Decided that I didn't really want to make that purchase and then have a bomber show and lose money on the deal. The next day, I get an email from the event planners: THEY WILL PROVIDE TENTS FOR THE VENDORS WHO NEED THEM. DON'T WANT ANYONE TO NOT PARTICIPATE BECAUSE OF THAT.

Crap.

God sent that email. He knew what I was doing and He eliminated my excuse.

So.....I'm back in. I purchase what I need to put together matted photos. Decide on pricing. Gather tables, table coverings, display items, purchase a banner, make a list, then another list, and quite possibly a third list...because, ya know....I'm a list maker.

I'm all set. But for a few minor details, I have everything I need.

EXCEPT MY CONFIDENCE.

It's lost. Gone. Out the window. Run away like a speeding train in the night.

I read yesterday a quote that I am pretty sure God put in front of me.....Only thing He forgot to do was put this quote in flashing, neon letters. I'm just sayin'....

“Never doubt in the dark what God told you in the light.” ~ Raymond Edman

I know. I'm doing exactly that. Doubting God's promise to me. Shame on me, I know.

I've told myself a thousand and one times yesterday and today....If I fail and sell nothing tomorrow it's because God has a lesson in there for me. FIND IT and work it out. If I'm successful and selling everything, it's because God has a lesson in that for me too. FIND IT and work it out.

**sigh**

So as you look through the pictures below of what I'm planning to give way to any sucker who walks by I'm selling, pray for me please. Pray that God reminds me of His purpose for me and that I rest in knowing He has this all worked out ahead of me. Thanks, peeps. You all da bomb.

Processing....

The list of things I'm processing today:

** Photos from a 4 year old's birthday party....

** Why some times we can hear and feel God and other times it's as if He has completely disappeared....

** What to take to my first Art Fair this weekend....oh....and how much to sell my photos for and how to get people to come to MY booth and what shoes to wear that day and....(I could really go on forever on this one but I'll spare you. You're welcome. :0))

** Why a lesson has to be learned multiple times....and the HARD way EVERY TIME....

** Why the clock is ticking so very slooooowwwwly today....

** How blessed I am with three healthy girls and others are dealing with life threatening health situations for their own children....here and here....

** How, as I type this, I can't really think about anything else other than the Heath bar my office neighbor was just talking about....seriously....

It's all in a days work for me, ya know....my mind races like a NASCAR driver speeding around a race track (why is that fun to watch by the way? A car? Driving in circles? Really?)....

I'm bored. I have A TON going on but none of it happening today or even really needing my racing mind's attention today, but yet I can't stop thinking about it. So much going on....so many things to get done and plan for and work out and sell and book and market and create and dream about and prepare for and purchase and lift up and love on and scream about and search for and....

I wear myself out....I just do.

On an entirely different note, Mark's 94 year old grandma died over the weekend. The funeral is Thursday. He is sad, but....happy. He's worried about his mother (who is gravely ill by the way) and how she is handling the news of her mother passing. But through all the stress of working full time, having a business on the side, raising his daughter, ME, getting married, moving and selling his home, combining households and on and on, his response when I asked how he was doing was this:

God says to REJOICE in ALL things....so I am. She has her mind back, her health is perfect and she is with Jesus.

Now how's that for being faithful?!

I will add to my processing list above how on earth I got so lucky as to land a man like my Marky.