A prayer for 2009

My 2009 New Year's Prayer....resolutions don't work but prayers DO.

Father,

First and foremost, thank you. For giving me Your strength when I am weak, Your patience when I am anxious, Your understanding when I am confused. Thank you for loving me JUST AS I AM. I ask that You shine Your light in the yet dark places of my heart...help me sort it all out. You have my permission to squeeze out every last bit of yuckiness left in me.

I ask You to show me 2008 with Your eyes....show me my failures and successes as You see them, not as I see them. I pray that you reveal the things I need to correct and the things I need to protect in 2009.

Because You have taken up full residence in my heart, I am able to endure the painful heartache and complete joy that is sure to come as You mold me into Your perfect image. I know that Your plans for me are good. I know that You have a purpose for me and that Your hand will shape me into what You desire me to be....and at Your hand I surrender.

Thank You for a new year. A new year to seek You, seek my heart and seek LIFE....the life that only comes from knowing You. Thank You for my beautiful girls, my family, my sweet friends. Please keep them all happy and healthy and safe and I pray that they seek You has much as You are seeking them.

I thank You for all that You have done, all that You are doing and all that You are going to do. I look forward to my "breathing" time with You in 2009.

I love You with all my heart. In Jesus' precious name I pray....

Amen....and Amen.

JC is my BFF!!!

Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on.

I read something the other day....something that has just stuck with me and I can't seem to shake.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on.

It came from an unlikely source...a fellow blogger that I have never met but has changed me just by having read his blog. He posted about a person who left an anonymous comment to something else he had written. His response to this anonymous comment was many things including 1) insightful, 2) God-driven and 3) touching. Anyway, I thanked him for his insight and wanted him to know that his blog was a blessing to me. His words a God send. He said those words to me in response.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Move on.

I'm not sure how God does it....uses perfectly good strangers to tell you what He wants you to know. Someone I would never cross paths with has spoken 6 words to me that God has been telling me for sometime....I just wasn't hearing Him so He found someone else to say them. A God-sized QTip to clean out my ears and HEAR Him.

I just looked up the meaning of breathe in the dictionary. I get the move on part. I'm pretty good at that. But breathing? I think I forget to do that most days (not literally....you know what I mean). It means all the obvious things like inhale, exhale, etc. But then this....

Breathe: to pause and rest before continuing.

Huh. Have I paused lately? Have I rested? Napped, yes, but rested? Rested in God's Word or paused to listen to His direction? I tell myself I have. I pray and ask God for guidance as I drive 80 miles an hour down the interstate. I read my Bible and search for answers to questions I have. I listen to the pastor at church and vow to have a good week seeking Him first. But....but. There is always a but. That's not what He wants from me. I can see that He is telling me to really pause. Take a breather. Certainly keep praying while driving and any other time of the day I feel the need but take special time with Him in the quiet and pray and listen. Really listen. THEN move on. Make good choices and decisions based on those intimate conversations when I am truly breathing.

So my new years resolution (I know, they rarely stick but this one will be different) will be to carve out some alone time with God.

Pause.

Rest.

....And move on.

JC is my BFF....

So full....

My heart is just so full. For the first time in a really long time....maybe ever.

I've been thinking a lot about the last year and finally just feel at rest. God has been working on my heart for so long and while it will always be a work in progress, I finally understand what it means to be head over heals in love.

With Jesus.

An unconditional love. One where you will follow someone off the ends of the earth. Do things you never thought you'd do just to please Him. I've never felt like this before....you can't with a hardened, dark heart. It's just not possible. Each of us has a God-sized hole and there is absolutely nothing that can fill that hole except God Himself. My hole is now filled and the hard part is keeping it filled to the top and overflowing with Him. I don't mean that He will come and go as He pleases...'cuz He won't. Says so right in the Bible. He will never leave me or forsake me. He is always constantly pursuing ME. Yep...ME (and you by the way). Pursuing my heart, my thoughts, my desires, my everything. The trick to keeping Him in that hole is ME. I have to keep my eyes on Him. Keep my "God goggles" on and see others as He sees them too. And that ain't easy.

So on this Christmas Eve as the girls and I sit down to dinner we are going to share what we are thankful for. At the top of my list will be Jesus. What an awesome, wonderful gift that God gave us. I guarantee there is NOTHING wrapped under my tree that is quite as good a gift.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY 8LB., 6OZ. BABY JESUS...OR AS OUR FRIENDS IN THE SOUTH CALL YOU...JESUS." -- Talladega Nights.... :)

JC IS MY TRULY BFF....

I take it back.....

All of it. All of the parts that I gave up on. All of the parts that I let go of because of someone elses opinion. All of the posts I "hid" because someone else thought differently about my opinion, my life, my words than I did. Well....I take it back. This is MY blog. My life. My head. My heart. ME.

Funny how quickly you learn things about other people....and how sometimes you ignore it because you just don't want to believe they are who they really are. Then WHAM. God won't let you stop looking anymore and for me it's a big fat YANK of my head out of the sand.

All of my posts since I started this blog are back up....because I can express myself any way I wish. God has a plan for each of us....to use us in the way He sees fit. I can either follow Him and His direction or worry about the opinions of those that don't matter.

I choose God. Every day. All the time. In all situations. I choose God.

JC IS MY BFF....

Collages....

If you'll remember back to earlier this fall, I blogged about the cheerleader action photos. I was schooled on how hard cheerleaders work and came to the conclusion that I had not given them a fair assessment most of my life. :/

As part of the package I sell for action shots, I make collages of the favorites. The two below are the cheerleader and her younger sister who is a soccer player (obviously). I guess the plan is to give to the grands as Christmas presents. I think they turned out pretty cool. Wish I was a forward thinker enough to do these types of things for myself! Next year....there is always next year. :)

JC is my BFF....

The song to be played....

So these last few years (all my life, really) music has been a big deal. I've laughed to it, cried to it, danced to it. I've listened to almost anything you can think of...especially these last few weeks. Just in the mood for some loud music to stir up my soul.

The other day at work, my friend Patti sends an email about the song that she would like to be played at her funeral and sends a video link so we can watch the video. I know. I was thinking the same thing you are....WHO THINKS ABOUT THIS STUFF? How morbid and sad and just weird to think about. BUT....her song was great. It was "Amazing Grace" played by bagpipes. Gave me goosebumps listening to it.

So since the seed was planted, I thought to myself, "Self....what would you want played at your funeral?" I laughed at some of the possibilities I came up with but I decided on this song. "I wanna go home" by Michael Buble.



I know....this song is about love and missing someone here on Earth, but it fits. It just does. When I die I will go back Home....and why not celebrate that fact? Because I have accepted Jesus as my Savior, I have my very own room in God's house waiting just for me. So....no worries....I'm fairly confident I have a few good years left but since none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, you all know what you'll hear when you walk in to say goodbye. :)

JC is my BFF....

What I learned today....

God led me to this blog.....not one doubt in my mind. I needed to hear some of these things and sure enough, there they were. Please go check out this blog.....Trust me. You'll be glad you did.

http://billycoffey.blogspot.com/

Oh.....and listen to this song. I'm quitting caffeine and TODAY is day one. I think the lack of caffeine is making me sappy and soft.

** Sigh **

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pR_NncIZo9s

JC is my BFF....

Wittle peeps....

Thanksgiving 2008. I love the wittle peeps in my life.....mostly cuz I wish I still was one. :)

JC is my BFF....

Revelation....

Worth the listen.....