Boy, am I human....

Never before has it been quite so obvious that I am a flawed human being. Made in the perfect image of God, but not perfect by any means. I'm not being too hard on myself, honest. Just a wake up call that I am not all that and a bag of chips most days. {Not that I think I am, just sayin'}

God showed up...again.

My need to control and understand ten steps ahead of me is a huge thorn in my side. Why can't I relax and go with the flow? It's my spiritual gift to get my panties in a bunch, I honestly jokingly say. My uncanny ability to see things in the way people talk, react and behave can and DOES get me into trouble. It's weird. I'm pretty good at reading people who are upset, feeling left out or hurt, but I have no clue when my mouth is moving that I am making someone that way. It's also my spiritual gift to open mouth, insert foot.

I said to God this morning {after two long days} that I just don't understand men. I am fairly confident God laughed about that because I was immediately reminded that HE is a MAN. I know, ladies, I know.

I love, love, love, love, love my husband. He is a man...a real man like I've never known before, but a man none the less. He doesn't pick up on the unspoken words us girlies speak when we are upset, in need, hurt or otherwise. He does, on the other hand, want to know {which puts him 800 heads above most men in my book}. He just can't know without being told because that's how God made him. As necessary as it is, it's hard to tell a man what you feel and how you hurt. We want our man to KNOW....to look in our eyes and FEEL it or to be so in tune to who we are that no words need be spoken. That's ridiculous and truly unfair to him...not to mention too trashy romance novel for words!

So I'm learning. I'm learning to say what needs said while remembering that just because I can, it doesn't always mean that I should.

Boy, am I human.

Blinders

I've been so busy lately I've hardly been able to tell my head from my rear. Seems like there is never enough time in the day to get everything that needs done DONE.

Can I get a witness?!

I had a convo with God the other day about how to get it all done and how to prioritize, what to cut out, what to keep. I'm truly wearing myself out just thinking about it right now. The word that kept coming up through that convo was "blinders".

At the time I was thinking it was just my mind wandering {It does that, ya know}. I went on about my business that day but the word keeps circling back around in my thoughts.

Blinders.

What does that even mean? I have no real idea. Other than the picture I get in my head is of a horse with her "blinders" on meant to keep her from getting distracted. Horse owners use them to keep the horse from seeing things and getting spooked or distracted. {I think....I don't own a horse, only been near one a few times...so yeah. I'm a warehouse of knowledge on this subject and you should totally take me as an authority here}.

But if I'm right and that's the case, then what is God telling me about blinders?

Maybe He wants me to wear them? I have to admit that I am NOT fashion forward enough to literally strap them on my head and wear them.

If I were to put on a pair, a set ...wait...a pair {whatever} of blinders, what am I to be blocking out? The distractions of this world are immense. There are sooo many things that can get me off course, make me lose my focus. Kids, husband, job, house cleaning, working out, fundraising, THE STINKIN' OLYMPICS {OMG-ish....don't even get me started on watching them on tv! They can literally suck hours of my time into oblivion!}. That's all life, though....life CAN get in the way of the to do list.

BUT....WAIT.....

What if God is telling me about the blinders I have keeping HIM out? Maybe He is telling me to take OFF my blinders and let HIM into my world more. Or better yet, keep them on but tune my newly focused vision on Him instead of everything else.

Yeah....I think that's it. Focus on HIM, not my list.

The bible says in Proverbs 4:25: "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you." There it is...stop looking around, getting distracted and keep our eyes focused on GOOD things and RIGHT things and HIS promises. I know...easier said than done!

I find myself too busy to pray everyday. I find myself too busy to get in my bible as much as I should. I find myself gossiping or saying things that I know are not pleasing to Him. I bet {if I was the bettin' type, which I'm not} that if I actually put my time with Him first, I'd have the energy to get things done. I bet I'd get the right things done first....the things that matter checked off the list daily. I also bet I'd not be writing this post right now.

So....now what? I think I'll stop at the horse supply store on my way home {yes....I drive right by one} and pick up some serious blinders. Maybe literally wearing them will do the trick. You should be seeing me on the cover of Vogue in March....wearing blinders will be the next fashion accessory on the market. Either that....or I'll be on the next episode of "What Not to Wear"! :0}

Won't you please?

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ia/rnr10/bramseyruc

Click on the link above....it will take you to my personal Team in Training website.

I've done it again. I'm going all in and doing another event for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I will be running in the San Diego Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon on June 6, 2010. As part of that commitment to run that race, I need to raise $3,900 for the Society. I ran the 2005 Honolulu Marathon and the 2007 Nashville Country Music Marathon....doing a half marathon will be a piece of cake (someone please remind me of that on race day)! I can and WILL succeed in this goal!

BUT I need your help.

Give $5, $10, $100....whatever you can. Your donation is tax-deductible and a huge percentage of it goes directly to research to help find a cure for blood cancers.

THANK YOU....from the bottom of my heart to the tip of my running shoes....FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

P.S. If you or anyone you know is a survivor of a blood cancer or is currently enduring the battle, PLEASE let me know. I'd like to make a list of everyone who is or has gone through the battle...I'll carry that list with me during the race and every step will honor them and their COURAGE.

"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!" ~ Philippians 4:13

My prayer for 2010....

Wow....what a year. 2009 has been the best year so far. All kinds of wonderful things happened. All kinds of growing and rethinking also happened. My highlight of 2009, though? Marrying the very best man on the face of the earth. I know. I'm a little biased, but that's ok. You'd all think he was the best if you knew him too. :0)

So....as I have been mulling over my prayer for 2010 the last few weeks God has given me two pieces of wisdom to think about as I write this:

1) In HIS hands, little becomes much; and
2) To thine own self be true....

Something else I heard this week: "To get what you've never had, you MUST do what you've never done." ~ Pastor Steve Furtick, Elevation Church. Ohhhh....I love that!

So, without further delay....my prayer for 2010:

Father,

THANK YOU....for all that You've done, for all that You're doing, for all that You will do. Thank You for 2009....for all the blessings, the heartache, the laughter and the tears. With each and every experience I've grown in You. I've learned that You are here no matter what. I've learned that You listen to my prayer....You may not always answer, but You do always hear me. I've learned that Your plans are good and true and always the best. I've learned that You want whats best for me...even if I don't know what that is or think that it's not. I've grown in my heart, my soul and in my thoughts.

I've held on to the things that are precious to me. I've let go of the things that continue to hurt me. I've seen Your face in my tears and heard Your voice in my laughter. I pray, Father, that You continue to guide my steps, that I continue to seek You first and that even when I fall I remember that You are there beside me.

I'm thankful for my husband....the gift that YOU gave to me. I'm so very grateful for his heart, his wonderful wisdom and his desire to follow You with every step. I pray that you continue to bless us, lead us and be there as we work through life together. In the happy times I wish to praise You for our marriage. In the not so happy times I praise You even more for the lessons we are learning and the closeness that only trials can bring. I pray that we continue to put each other only second to You.

Thank You for our girls. Thank You for giving each of them to us to treasure, lead, love, laugh with and show them how to lead healthy, productive lives. I pray hard, Father, that You watch over each of them as they grow into the person You have created them to be. Keep your strong, loving arms around them....protecting them from hurt, harm and heartache as they leave our home to spend time with boys and their friends. **Sigh**

I pray that 2010 brings prosperity in our lives. In Your hands, little becomes much. I pray that we remember to thank You daily for Your provision. As we continue to be prudent with the provision You provide, I pray that Your will be done and that the blessings You give to us be passed on to others in need. I pray that others see Your light shine through us.....however that happens, whatever needs done, USE us to share Your love with the unloved. We are ready, willing and able to be Your hands and feet. Here we are, Lord, send us.

Thank You for reminding me time and time again that my story is no longer my shame. I pray that You continue to remind me that the only opinion of me that matters is YOURS. In 2010 and beyond I will be true to myself. Others may come and go, but You are always there...never leaving me nor forsaking me. Letting go of all the hurt from my past has freed me to finally see the purpose of it all. Thank You for being exactly who You say You are...my one true Father.

And finally, thank You in advance for knowing the mistakes I will make in 2010 and loving me right through them. 2010 is going to be the BEST YEAR EVER.....and if it's not? May You show us the lessons You want us to learn.

In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen and AMEN.

The best man ever....

Today is the anniversary of the day the very best man I've ever known was brought into the world. At 5:45 a.m. on Friday, December 2, 1966, Mark Anthony Ramsey was born.

He is the second greatest man, in my opinion, to ever walk this earth (Jesus being first, of course).

I'M JUST SAYIN'....

The love of my life. The answer to my craziest prayer. The owner of my heart forever. The best friend I've ever had. The only person to make me laugh so hard I've nearly peed a little. He is a true, real man.

I'M JUST SAYIN'....

I'm pretty sure you haven't met him, but those who have...well...they are better for knowing him. Better for meeting him, better for shaking his hand. Better for talking to him, better for hearing his voice. Honest. Ask anyone who knows him.

He is exactly who God made him to be....not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but PERFECT for me.

I'M JUST SAYIN'....

So....HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my husband. I thank God for you every single day....sometimes over and over again. You make me laugh, you've made me cry. You make me happy and you are truly my better half. I pray that God will allow me to celebrate your birthday with you for another 43++ years.

I love ya, babe.

Softer....

I'm getting softer.

I know. It's hard to believe, but I am. Just trust me on this.

Mark & I lead a small group. NOT something that I am very comfortable with, but I signed us up anyway. I did it knowing that he would be fully on board. Didn't even ask him first....really just "told" him that we are not only going to be in a small group but lead it in our home.

Yeah.....You don't know me.

THAT is sooooo not me. I have a 15 foot rule. No one gets near me unless I ask first. It's just part of who I am have been....until now.

Last night we completed week six of eight of Rick Warren's "Life's Healing Choices" in a tag team with our Sunday services at church. The study is not really what I expected but it's obviously what I needed.

Obviously {eye roll}....

So the "softer me" part: It FINALLY dawned on me this morning ('cuz I'm painfully slow at times) that our small group is, well....awesome. Not because it's at our house or because we got to pick the night and time or because of the yummy treats (they are a plus, though, let me tell ya), but awesome because of the people who attend. Awesome because God shows up every week right on time. He's never late....almost as if He walks in with each and every person as they walk in the front door ready to sit, eat yummies, talk about life and LISTEN. He's a "special" (and required) member of every small group, but it humbles me to realize that He wants to be a part of ours too.

If no one else gets anything out of our group it will be a resounding success. Why would I make such a bold statement, you ask? Because I got something out of it. I know it's not all about me. I believe with all my heart, though, that God put our group together for many reasons....and one was to soften me up a bit.

And, boy, did I need some softening....

He gave me this statement this morning...and I heard Him very loud and clear.

LIFE TOGETHER IS HARD, BUT IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN LIFE ALONE.

Amen and Amen.

To my small group partners:

Thank you. For showing up. For coming back. For sharing your lives with us. For being who you are. For letting God work on your hearts and understanding how God is working on mine too. You have no idea how each of you has helped God soften me up. Just know that He has and with your help.

Life together is hard, but it's so much better than life alone.

Circle....

You have to watch this....you just do. Christ-Life Solutions is a ministry that literally saved me. I know, I know....GOD did that....but He used Christ-Life to do it. It's a ministry where you work through your childhood being an adult ally to yourself. Sounds hokey but it really isn't. It's working through the years of your childhood, working out the lies that you believe and replacing those old, incorrect paradigms with new, correct, God-directed ones. It was an exhausting year and a half of working through some issues, but in the end it was the best time I've ever spent on me. I still have junk....who doesn't, but my junk is far less than it was. Just trust me on that.

Christ-Life Solutions sends out devotional emails and this is the one I got today. SPOKE. RIGHT. TO. ME. God is teaching me a lesson on what I let in and how I let it affect me. Been one of those weekends where He was right there guiding my words and my actions. I made mistakes, yes, but I also followed His lead and am so much better for it.

Watch this video....What are you downloading into your circle?

GOD IS SO GOOD....ALLLL THE TIME! :0}