7 months ago today....

Seven months ago today, I woke up a single lady {"ALLL the single ladies, now put yo' hands UP!" - Sorry....I was channelin' some Beyonce. :0) }....

Seven months ago today, I ended my day a married woman....and have not been the same since.

It really is true, y'all. When you let God handle things and allow Him to direct your steps, He really, truly does bring you more blessing than you could ever possibly imagine. Ever. Sometimes it's huge things that are different and better and sometimes it is the tiniest, little gesture or comment made that makes me realize God really did show up and brought me the man I needed, the man I deserved and the man He made for me. *sigh*

To my adorable husband,

THANK YOU for being everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. Eventually we won't mark these little anniversaries, but I will always, every single day, thank God for you and for your heart. You have healed me in places that I never thought would heal. I know that God actually did the healing, but He did it through you. You make my heart swell...so much so sometimes that it makes my chest hurt. I finally see that there is no other "shoe" and I no longer expect it to fall. You are exactly who you say you are....not perfect, but perfect for me. Thank you for the best 7 months of my life to date and for the anticipation of the next 70+ years. With you, I am strong. With God, together we are unstoppable.

I love you from the tip of my toes to eternity. I love you more today than yesterday and can only imagine how much I will love you tomorrow. XOXOXOXO.....

Love,

Me

To my AWESOME God,

THANK YOU, LORD, FOR MY HUSBAND. Please keep him safe, give him your wisdom and understanding for each step that he takes. Here we are, Lord. Send us to show the world what you can do when two people follow You and seek You in all things.

Amen and Amen.

Love,

Me

How can that be?

How can you be great at something, but then be so terribly, horrible at it all at the same time?

I don't know how that can possibly be the truth, but it is.

I can't really tell you what I'm great at and horrible at all at the same time, because it's just something I can't share right now. All I can really say is that it is a result of envy. Green, ugly envy. And I can tell you that it stinks. I wear it like a prized, expensive, beautiful leather coat....thinking it looks so good on me and I'm entitled to it because of all I've been through, but if I looked in the mirror....God's mirror....it would make me look fat and homeless, this ratted old coat of envy. Dirty, ugly and miserable.

And that's what sucks the most. The fact that I KNOW better. The fact that I KNOW what it is and can name it. I just don't WANT to.

I have so much to say, so much that NEEDS said, but I can't find the words. I'M THE ADULT! I need to act like one, but for cryin' out loud, I can't seem to do it. I'm just so full of contradictions and confusion over this mess. I fight with myself on a regular basis because my thoughts go 8,000 miles an hour and I can talk myself in and out of the truth about the situation and the right thing to do on a fairly regular basis. It ain't pretty....and it's stinkin' exhausting.

So instead of dealing with my "great/horrible-ness" I've turned it off. Not dealing with it. Put up a wall and pretend like nothing is up....and festering in anger and resentment at the same time. Have I given this to Jesus, put it at the foot of the Cross, you ask? Only about 75 times...TODAY. I just keep picking it back up and carrying it around like I'd die without it. I won't, though. I'd actually LIVE if I let it go.

I'll shed this nasty coat of envy soon and when I do I'll share the great lesson I'm positive God is trying to teach me.

But until then, it's keeping me warm.

An Irish Prayer for you today....

An Irish Prayer
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

I've got some Irish in me....not sure how much exactly, but on this day, don't you think we all are a little Irish wanna-be?

Aye, mo charas.

So Happy St. Paddy's Day to you all....and may God hold you in the palm 0f His hand today and everyday.

Why we are here....

Turn down the music on my blog (at the bottom of this page) and watch our "Why we are here" video that will be played at our Leukemia and Lymphoma Society fundraiser in April. Good stuff.

Desert Song ~ TURN IT UP

TODAY...this song (playing on my blog as you read this) is speaking directly to my heart. I need to add it to my MP3 player and listen to it non-stop. I need the constant reminder that HE IS HERE and no weapon formed against me shall remain. I need to hear that.
~~~~~~~~~~
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am conqueror and co- heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life in every season
You are still God,
I have a reason to sing,
I have a reason to worship

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I received I will sow
~~~~~~~~~~

Thank God for His healing. Thank God for His love. Thank God for His peace and understanding. Thank God for His forgiveness. Thank God for HIM.....and THANK GOD for people who know Him and see with His eyes and touch with His hands.

Amen and amen.

A special friend...

I have a very special friend. I've never shaken her hand, looked her in the eye or heard her laugh because I've never met her in person....but she is a gift from God every single time we "talk".

I won't share her story here because it's only hers to tell. I will, however, share with you what this lady has done for me in the nearly two years we have been communicating via blogs and email. {almost two years already? Oh my....the older I get the faster time flies!}

Meet my sweet friend Gwenn. She lives a half a country away from me and we met through The Christian Woman blog where we both contribute our hearts. Funny thing is....we both post occasionally, but when we do, it's usually within a few days of each other. Yep...She's my soul sista.

Maybe it's easier to be friends with someone you have never met. I say that because maybe you can say things that need said without fear of running into that person in the grocery store line...especially if what you said might have hit a nerve.

Gwenn did that for me once. No, she did not hurt my feelings, but she did hit a nerve and said what God had been trying to telling me for a long time. He just used her to get it through my thick skull finally...and I so love her for it.

"Maybe you should stop trying to force a square peg in a round hole....that round peg just might be right around the corner," she said. Might not mean much to you, but knocked me over the head, stumbled me back a few steps, opened my heart and stopped me in my tracks. IN THAT ORDER.

She was right. Her words rattled around in my head and heart for quite some time. Her words, sent by God, changed my life for the better. I let go of that square peg and I'll be darned if she wasn't right....that round peg was seriously right around the corner.

Won't you please stop right this second and pray for my friend Gwenn? She needs prayers....to stay strong and not give up. To love the way God is asking her to love and to keep on the path He has made for her. He is restoring her in ways she cannot yet see, but it will be so worth all the effort. I love her and so does God. Pray for her, please.

Gwenn: THANK YOU for being the most faithfilled woman I've never met. THANK YOU for modeling for me how to never give up and follow God's lead. THANK YOU for speaking the truth to me {though I'm sure you would speak it even if we did run into each other in the grocery store line}, for listening to me when I whine and laughing with me and praying for me and on and on. You are truly a blessing to everyone around you....and those of us 3,000 miles away. May God bless you with all you deserve and so much more. May your heart be filled to overflow once again and may you remember always to be who you are.

"Life is partly what we make it and partly what it is made by the friends we choose" ~ Tennessee Williams

Love letters....

Very cool video....turn off the music at the bottom of my blog and watch this. You will be glad you did.