Friday, January 30, 2009

Unloved no longer....

“I’ll call nobodies and make them somebodies; I’ll call the
unloved and make them beloved.” (Rom. 9:25 MSG)
During this spiritual journey I've been on, God has plopped some pretty awesome things down in front of me. Things I didn't know existed. Things I didn't know to be true. He has really opened up my world...all because I opened up mine to Him.

That's the key, you know. Stepping out in faith and being open to what God wants to show you. I truly believe that you need to be careful what you pray for though. I mean CAREFUL. If you ask for forgiveness in your heart for something someone has done to you, He'll give that to you but you can't then say you aren't ready for it or don't want it. It just doesn't work that way.

I asked for God to show me LOVE. What it really is. What it means. How to receive it and give it and....what the heck to do with it when you get it. I'll admit it. I have no idea how to be in a relationship or truly love someone in a positive, meaningful way (and I'm not talking about as a parent....just talking about in an adult relationship). I had no good role models for this growing up. I've seen and been a part of things as a child and, honestly, as an adult that just aren't ok and normal. But when I prayed for God to show me love, He showed me. Plopped it right down in front of my face.

I've learned that to love someone else you have to TRULY love yourself first. I'm not talking about being IN LOVE with yourself. That just leads to a sinful heart and opens you up to destruction. I'm talking about loving yourself as God does. Seeing in you what God sees. Believing in yourself the way God believes in you. When you get that tank filled up with God's love, it will flow out of you without any effort on your part. Sure....relationships take work, but it sure is a lot easier to give something if you have it available to you first.

God has emptied my heart and filled it back up again. He has showed me the hurt, heartache, pain that comes from unhealthy relationships and has filled me up and is preparing me for a healthy one. One that means seeking Him first. One that is His will and gives Him glory. God is paving the way for me to give what He has given me. My light will shine for Him sure enough.

I found on Max Lucado's website the following. It's a pretty cool way to remember who we are WITH Christ. Insert your name in the blanks. This is a great place to start and a great place to come back to when learning about the love God has for us, gives us and expects us to overflow to those around us. If you are struggling....and even if you are not....use this below to remind you of the gift that we are given everyday.

Christ in _____ is patient, Christ in _____ is kind. Christ in _____ does not envy, Christ in _____ does not boast, Christ in _____ is not proud. Christ in _____ is not rude, Christ in _____ is not self-seeking, Christ in _____ is not easily angered, Christ in _____ keeps no record of wrongs. Christ in _____ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Christ in _____ always protects, always perseveres. Christ in _____ never fails.

This is the LOVE that God has shown me I am capable of giving and I deserve to receive.

JC is my BFF!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Joy = Strength

"The joy of the Lord is your strength." ~ Nehemiah 8:10

God keeps putting that one in my head. Been tossing it around trying to really understand what it means. I think today I have finally begun to get it. I've learned so much these last few months....it's hard to sort it all out and put words to it. The biggest thing I've learned so far is that with God I can have peace. True peace. And joy. Not the kind of joy that you get with a new car or a new whatever thing that makes you happy. The kind of joy you get when things are not going well, when you find yourself in a dark valley. You are able to smile through it and stay CALM knowing that God has it all planned out and is working ahead of you for your good. Now that's what I'm talkin' about.

I'm coming out of a valley....headed back up the mountain. God has been with me all the way. Teaching me, showing me, "cleaning out" my heart and helping me see how things should be. It's exciting, scary, fun and exhausting.

My journey to finding my true self is on-going, but I finally see pieces of the real me coming out. Things I want to share with others and I've started to realize that I am fully capable of making a lasting impression on this world for the better. God gave me gifts and talents and He is showing me who to share them with. I'm letting Him choose and make those choices and, boy, is that a ton easier! He knows their hearts and He knows their intentions. He's a pretty good "wing man"! :)

As you know, I am a very impatient person....I believe I have described myself as having the patience of a flea. That's getting easier too. I have always wanted to know how the story ends before I start reading it. I realized, with the help of a very good, smart friend, that if I know how it ends, I either won't go through it or will "prepare to lessen the pain" and miss the blessing God has planned. So....for the first time EVER....I started a new book and am all the way to chapter 7 and haven't even THOUGHT about looking at the end! God is so good. :0)

JC is my BFF....

Monday, January 12, 2009

New website design....

It's been needing it. A rearrangement and tweakin'. So tonight I spent a few hours listening to the 50+ winds howl outside and worked on my website. Check it out - www.outoftheashesphoto.com and let me know what you think. Still needs a lot of little things done but for the most part it's in it's final stage.

Spring is comin' and I intend to be very busy so I need to get marketing started and pricing set. Yeah! I'm excited for the first time in a long time.

God sent me an email today (No. Really. He did.) He pretty much told me to quit whining about things and get it done. Invest some time and some brainpower. He said "You can't stay focused on defeat and expect to move forward in victory."

He was right. He always is. :)

JC is my BFF!

Reflections on my blogger name....

My new friend Hope42Day has left a few comments so I checked out a post they wrote called "Reflections on my blogger name" which just told the story of why they chose Hope42Day. I thought that was a pretty cool idea so I decided to do the same.

One of my favorite verses and one that God has directed to me several times is Romans 8:30-32:

"And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all—how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?"

God showed me this verse when I was in a huge valley in my life and bad things were being said and believed about me by someone I trusted and loved. I was heartbroken and could not understand why these things were happening....why someone would say and truly believe this of me. Especially since it was far from the truth. When I read it, I saw that God had my back. That no matter what anyone else thought of me or said about me, God knew my true heart and believed in me. He gave His son for ME and IF GOD IS FOR ME WHO CAN BE AGAINST ME???

Whenever I have tough times or struggle with self esteem or worry, I just remind myself that God is for me. It has been brought to my attention that it is not correct to "change the verse to say me instead of us" and that I have it wrong. BUT LET ME ASSURE YOU. I don't. God gave me the OK. The green light. I got the nod from the Big Fella Himself to use it how I have. If I was a kid I'd be sticking my tounge out right now. :)

If you have a blog and are reading this, post a "Reflections on my blogger name" too. I'd love to know how you came up with your blog name!

JC is my BFF!

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Prize.....

It's Saturday night. No kids. TV all to myself....only I can't find the remote and it really stinks having to get up off the couch to change the channel. Amazing how dependant (and not to mention lazy!) I have become. With the remote I only have to move to shift around and get comfy. Without it, I have to actually get off my bum and do something. Whoa is me.

Anyway, I totally digress. The TV. To myself. That's what I was saying. Without the remote I found myself stuck on the documentary channel. The show I was forced to watch was "The Life of a Marathon."

Huh. I can watch this. Done two full marathons and two half marathons. I think I'll give this show a few minutes to see if it's worth getting up to see what else is on. Turns out, it was just the show I needed to watch. I have a feeling God even hid my remote. He has a crazy sense of humor.

It was following several people as they train for the 2005 (I think?) Chicago Marathon. Deena Kastor, Athens Olympic Bronze medalist, a Kenyon guy who is stinkin' good and several regular Joe's like you and me. It showed the 20 mile long runs where the trainer is giving a great speech to the group about how it's "just 20 miles" and all that hokey they fill you with before you take off (it works so I shouldn't call it hokey). At the end, it showed each as they went through the race. It showed their ups and downs, when they hit "the wall" and when they crossed the finish line exhausted and spent.

Then it hit me. Not a new revelation to many, I'm sure, but I've never really looked at running a marathon as a metaphor for life. But it is. A good one too. If you've never run a marathon, allow me to explain. If you have, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

You have the training. You start out unable to run even 1 mile. Not kidding. It hurts to even really just walk from the house to the trail. "Are we done yet?" is what you think in those first few minutes.

Eventually over time you work your way up to running 3 miles at a time, 5 miles at a time, 3-6 times a week. It feels GOOD. First mile for me always stinks....not until mile 3 do I get in my grove. But you realize finally that all your hard work is paying off and you are able to do more than you ever thought possible with just some practice and some dedication.

You get to your first "long run" day. A long run is when you run non-stop (seriously) for an extended mileage....10 miles, 15 miles, 20 miles, etc. Very important for training.

After several months of hard work, it's race day. You get to the start....your heart is pumping. In Honolulu I ran with 28,000 people. No kidding. That many people in ONE place. There is nothing more intense and exciting. You can feel the buzz in the air.

You start out fast....too fast probably, but it feels so good to finally get moving. Several months of training and this is the last 26.2 miles! You can do it! A steady, even pace settles in about mile 3. At mile 9 you are still going strong. Feel great and really have good wind and legs still.

I personally trained myself to run to the water stations which are on average situated along the course every 1.5 to 2.5 miles. I get to walk through the water station (I'm blond and running and drinking are not as easy as you think). Plus, I got to allow myself to say "I made it. Now to the next water station."

All along the course, you hear people cheering for you. Rooting you on. They don't know you and you don't know them but it doesn't matter. Many of them stand there for hours just to cheer the runners on. And you NEED them. Like you need water and electrolytes and air. You NEED them. They lift your spirits and give you encouraging words to keep you moving.

By mile 18 or so the "wall" starts to come on. Physically you are exhausted. Mentally your mind is telling your legs to quit....just sit down. Just stop for a few minutes. But your heart....ah, your heart. It's telling you NO. Keep moving. One foot in front of the other. You started this stupid, crazy thing so you WILL finish it.

What about the lady running next to you? For the last two miles or so you have really been struggling....feeling sorry for yourself cuz it stinkin' HURTS. Then all of the sudden she hits her wall and you see it. You shout to her "COME ON SISTA!!! You can do it! We are so almost there!" She smiles and you run by her with a renewed spring in your step. She needed you at that moment and you needed her.

Just a few short miles later, you see the finish line. It's off in the distance yet but you can SEE it. What a powerful motivator that is. You want it so bad. You want to get there and hear the crowd cheer you on. You want to just sit down. :)

As you cross the finish line your body now (for me at least) has a second wind! You feel so wonderful and can't even imagine what you've just accomplished. You are grinning ear to ear as the guy next to you throws up on a volunteer. NOTE: If you ever want to volunteer to help in a marathon, avoid the finish line. Throw up is common place around there.

How does all this relate to life, you ask? How doesn't it.

In life we "train". For grades, for jobs, for kids and marriage, FOR GOD.

In life we endure "long distances" of pain or strain.

In life we get to the place where we are at the "starting line"....first day of college, marriage, babies, jobs, our new (or re-newed) relationship with Jesus.

In life we hit "walls" when the tough times come. When we think we cannot go on for one more second, someone from "the crowd" cheers for us. Encourages us to keep moving.

In life we stumble and almost give up but the "runner" next to us says we are almost there....keep moving.

In life we get to "water stations" where we can walk and take a breather....get our minds reset for the next "water station".

In life we see the "finish line". We want it so bad we can taste it. We need to keep our eyes on that finish line....it directs us where to go and how to get there. That finish line, in my life, is Jesus. He is the only true victory I have when I cross the finish line. If I keep my eyes on the Him, everything around me is just that. Around me.

As I cross the finish line, I will look up and smile for the camera for I just ran the race of my life. And I know that Jesus is in the crowd, at the water station, the runner next to me and one who will put the finisher's medal around my neck. After all, it's that medal and His glory that I am running for.

WHERE ARE MY RUNNING SHOES? I need to put one foot in front of the other and not stop until I cross that finish line.

JC is my BFF!!!

"Don't you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets a prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in the training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run with PURPOSE in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should." ~ 1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Friday, January 9, 2009

Working out, not on....

It's funny how you're sometimes just rollin' along, minding your own business and WHAM! Out of the blue you see something or hear something and you get a revelation. I had one of those today. Just a small one, but a revelation none the less.

I've committed 2009 to taking a deep spiritual journey. Already, in just 9 shorts days, I have come a long way (if I do say so myself). I get a daily devotional via email from Rick Warren/Purpose Driven Life. Yes....he writes it just for me. If you get the email in your inbox, just know it was WRITTEN for me and just SHARED with you. Just kidding. Anyway, today's was titled: "Spritual Growth Must Be Intentional". (See. Written just for me. :0)

Check it out:
"The truth is that growth in the human soul requires a
commitment to grow. A person must want to grow,
decide to grow, and make an effort to grow. Spiritual
growth begins with a decision. It doesn’t have to be a
complex decision, but it does have to be sincere."
So there it is. You gotta want it. You gotta work for it. You gotta make it a priority.

The devotional went on to talk about how we should "work out our salvation" (Phil. 2:12). That was my revelation. Right there. The need to work OUT not work ON. In order to find my true heart, discover what's in there, I need to work OUT my salvation! Give of myself - my time, my finances, my energy, my heart to others. I can read the bible, attend church and pray like crazy (all really wonderful things and definitely a requirement in the spiritual process) but in the end, I need to pour OUT God who is in me to others....and there is where my treasure will be found. I need to INTENTIONALLY and SINCERELY turn my journey from just looking inside me and focusing on what needs tweaked in there towards what is outside me as well....teach and be taught, love and be loved, respect and be respected.

I'm not working ON my spritual journey anymore. I am working it OUT. Amen....and amen!

JC is my BFF!!!!

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Fat Head....

No....I'm not a Fat Head, nor am I calling you one! I just wanted to share what a customer did with one of my action shots. I'm sooo excited. I shot this at the ADMSC Shoot the Moon Soccer Tournament this last fall. They turned it into a Fat Head and gave it to their son as a Christmas present! HOW COOL IS THAT??? Just makes my day. :)



Cant' wait for spring to get here. I miss my camera. I can take pictures in the winter but without much going on, there isn't much to take. Got a few sunrise shots the other day, but I'm just in a slump and ready to get back to it.

JC is my BFF!