My God is the God who provides....

Today is a good day. Today is a scary day. Today is THE day.

My husband is on a journey. One of letting go, moving forward, spreading his wings and....FLYING.

Beginning tomorrow, Mark is a 100% commission guy. Selling life insurance and doing investments. Changing lives. It's his calling. His God-given gift to help people with their finances. I've listened to him talk to people and my favorite thing that he says:

"I'll meet you right where you are."

That's powerful and not at all the way the rest of the world works. That's why I believe in him and that's why I adore him.

He's scared today....of letting his "girls" down, of failure, of not doing what's "best" for our family and leaving us in a gap that will be hard to get out of.

I'm scared today....of him not believing in himself enough, of him thinking he will fail (when I know that I know that I know that he won't) and of him losing sight of God's gift to him.

BUT....this is where the rubber meets the road. He CAN do this. He CAN change peoples lives. Getting people on a plan to get out of debt is an amazing thing and I have 100% confidence he will succeed.

Success to me is not him being a major money earner. Even if he only makes $20k a year, I'm ok with that. You know why? Money in our pocket isn't the goal. That's not why God gave him this gift. God gave him the gift of helping others through tough financial times to HELP them. Period.

My husband is a thinker. Thinks too much, if you ask me, but then again, I often times wish I had thought about my next step before taking a flying leap off that 80 story building without a parachute. I'm a jump right in and beg for forgiveness later kind of girl. He is a planner, strategic thinker, think before you speak and know all possible scenarios kind of guy. That's why we work, I guess. Balance.

So today I can't help but think about Hebrews 12:1 ~ "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

I love this verse. In its context it is talking about perseverance and the Christian life. Hebrews 11 lists all kinds of the people before us who have persevered and keep their eye on the end prize. And they did so by walking by FAITH and not by sight. They could not see what God had promised, but they knew He had promised them something so they kept putting one foot in front of the other keeping their eyes on HIM.

In the case of Mark's new journey, I offer this take on Hebrews 12:1....

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses..." The people of the past who have showed us how to be faithful in times of massive uncertainty...they have lead the way. Follow their lead....

"....let us throw off everything that hinders...." Drop your doubt, concern, fear, uncertainty, anxiety....

"....and the sin that so easily entangles...." Your unbelief that God is calling you out, paving the way.....HE.IS.HERE. You may not see Him so clearly right now, but I do.

"....and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Be steadfast in your faith, keep your eyes on Him and believe in the gift He has given YOU.

My God is a God who provides. One who does what He says He is going to do. A God so full of complete and amazing, abundant, overflowing love that He would not lead us astray. His path is straight and narrow. His ways are better than ours and His plan is bigger than we can even imagine.

THE JOY COMES IN THE MORNING, BABE. Let go and let God. I LOVE YOU......MORE!!!

7 months ago today....

Seven months ago today, I woke up a single lady {"ALLL the single ladies, now put yo' hands UP!" - Sorry....I was channelin' some Beyonce. :0) }....

Seven months ago today, I ended my day a married woman....and have not been the same since.

It really is true, y'all. When you let God handle things and allow Him to direct your steps, He really, truly does bring you more blessing than you could ever possibly imagine. Ever. Sometimes it's huge things that are different and better and sometimes it is the tiniest, little gesture or comment made that makes me realize God really did show up and brought me the man I needed, the man I deserved and the man He made for me. *sigh*

To my adorable husband,

THANK YOU for being everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. Eventually we won't mark these little anniversaries, but I will always, every single day, thank God for you and for your heart. You have healed me in places that I never thought would heal. I know that God actually did the healing, but He did it through you. You make my heart swell...so much so sometimes that it makes my chest hurt. I finally see that there is no other "shoe" and I no longer expect it to fall. You are exactly who you say you are....not perfect, but perfect for me. Thank you for the best 7 months of my life to date and for the anticipation of the next 70+ years. With you, I am strong. With God, together we are unstoppable.

I love you from the tip of my toes to eternity. I love you more today than yesterday and can only imagine how much I will love you tomorrow. XOXOXOXO.....

Love,

Me

To my AWESOME God,

THANK YOU, LORD, FOR MY HUSBAND. Please keep him safe, give him your wisdom and understanding for each step that he takes. Here we are, Lord. Send us to show the world what you can do when two people follow You and seek You in all things.

Amen and Amen.

Love,

Me

Day 10....

I have been married for 10 days. 10 wonderful, glorious days.

We didn't go on a honeymoon (unless you call taking the girls to Adventureland because we had free tickets only good for the day after the wedding a honeymoon). We didn't live together before we were married either.

So the last 10 days have been spent packing and preparing for the big move. I know....most people would NOT consider all that "glorious", but I'm we're not most people.

My husband is the greatest man I know.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm goo goo eyed, over the moon in love with him. Which I totally am, by the way.

He's the greatest man I know because through all the craziness of packing, moving, his being in limbo for nearly a week and finally getting in, unpacking, arranging, sorting and making sure his daughter has what she needs and is comfortable, he SMILED, LAUGHED and proved to me that marrying him was the VERY best decision of my entire life.

So, Marky. THANK YOU for the past 8 1/2 months. THANK YOU for for being the man that God created you to be. THANK YOU for loving me when I'm ridiculously crazed and my brain is on overload. THANK YOU for being my husband. I pray over you every night while you sleep and THANK GOD for the gift of YOU.

Here's to the next 50 years, baby....

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

That's not me anymore....

While in the throws of a HUGE crisis last evening, I neither yelled nor hurt anyone.

That's not me anymore.

While sitting on the side of the road in a stalled car, running late for soccer practice, too far to walk home, too far to walk to town, I didn't panic (too much) or cry.

That's not me anymore.

Frustrated beyond belief that my car, which I pay too much for each month by the way, is down for the count and the odds that it will need a very large sum of cash to fix it are huge, I neither kicked its tires nor threw myself into on-coming traffic.

That's not me anymore.

Having a man in my life who not only loves me, but wanted to drop everything and "rescue" me was a unique experience. A man who, by just the sound of his voice, pulled me off the ledge of "OMG, NOW WHAT?!?" and back inside to "Everything will be ok".

THAT'S PART OF THE NEW ME.

My car broke down last night. One the side of the road. In the middle of the country. For no apparent reason other than to test my ability to stay calm and show me how far I've truly come in the last three years since Jesus became my BFF.

Anger and hissy fits are sooo last year.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~ James 1:2-4

AMEN and AMEN....

Processing....

The list of things I'm processing today:

** Photos from a 4 year old's birthday party....

** Why some times we can hear and feel God and other times it's as if He has completely disappeared....

** What to take to my first Art Fair this weekend....oh....and how much to sell my photos for and how to get people to come to MY booth and what shoes to wear that day and....(I could really go on forever on this one but I'll spare you. You're welcome. :0))

** Why a lesson has to be learned multiple times....and the HARD way EVERY TIME....

** Why the clock is ticking so very slooooowwwwly today....

** How blessed I am with three healthy girls and others are dealing with life threatening health situations for their own children....here and here....

** How, as I type this, I can't really think about anything else other than the Heath bar my office neighbor was just talking about....seriously....

It's all in a days work for me, ya know....my mind races like a NASCAR driver speeding around a race track (why is that fun to watch by the way? A car? Driving in circles? Really?)....

I'm bored. I have A TON going on but none of it happening today or even really needing my racing mind's attention today, but yet I can't stop thinking about it. So much going on....so many things to get done and plan for and work out and sell and book and market and create and dream about and prepare for and purchase and lift up and love on and scream about and search for and....

I wear myself out....I just do.

On an entirely different note, Mark's 94 year old grandma died over the weekend. The funeral is Thursday. He is sad, but....happy. He's worried about his mother (who is gravely ill by the way) and how she is handling the news of her mother passing. But through all the stress of working full time, having a business on the side, raising his daughter, ME, getting married, moving and selling his home, combining households and on and on, his response when I asked how he was doing was this:

God says to REJOICE in ALL things....so I am. She has her mind back, her health is perfect and she is with Jesus.

Now how's that for being faithful?!

I will add to my processing list above how on earth I got so lucky as to land a man like my Marky.

My Sweet Valentine.....

So tomorrow is THE day. The dreaded day that comes, as a single person, to smack you on the head and remind you of how lonely you are. The wonderful day that comes, as a person in love, to skip around and be all giddy.

I dislike the IDEA of Valentine's Day. A lot actually.

Nothing like only one day a year showing the person you love that you LOVE them. Seems so silly to me. BUT....I sorta get it too. It is kinda nice to be reminded. Only I'd much prefer to be reminded everyday. Not with flowers or candy or perfume, etc., but with the small things. A sweet text, a voicemail, a whisper of sweet nothing in the ear. You get what I'm saying.

But this year.....this year is different. I am NOT a person who skips and is giddy. Trust me on this. BUT....I AM SKIPPING AND GIDDY! I am! Here is why:

His name is Mark. He has a halo. He's not perfect....but he's perfect for me.

First and foremost, he is a Believer. Then, he is so many things I am not.

He is sweet. He is so stinkin' funny....I laugh until my side aches almost daily. He is quickly becoming one of my best friends. He is very cute. He has tattoos that represent his love for God and he is not afraid to tell you who saved him. He is a dad to a 15 year old daughter....I'm learning he is the dad I wish I had growing up. She is VERY lucky to have him. He faithfully and fully gives of himself to our church - working in the 3rd and 4th grade kids ministry classroom, facilitates "Financial Peace University" and anything else they may ask him to do. He doesn't like black olives but is ok with my obsession with them. He sees my ADD not as a bad thing....."full of energy" is what I think he once called me. He touches my face in a very nice, soft way. He sees me for who I am....not who he wants me to be.

He is the "round peg" in a world FULL of square ones.

We started out as friends, ya know. Not interested in anything more than that....just enjoying each others company. But God had different plans.

So today.....and everyday that I get to be lucky to call him my man....I will thank God for the answered prayers. I will keep learning everyday how to show Mark my heart. I will give of myself in ways that I cannot even imagine how to do. I will continue to seek God first in all things, this relationship included. I will be faithful and not fearful and love 'til I have nothing left. What happens after that, only God knows.

Happy Valentines Day to my Sweet Valentine, Mark. U da bomb, baby. Fo sho, fo sho.

XOXOX!!!!