If God is for me....

I'm in training!

2011-05-23T14:33:00.002-05:00

I'm running the Nike Women's Marathon in San Francisco on October 16th, 2011 ~ Just 28 days after my 40th birthday!! Please support me and make a donation to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society via my fundraising website: http://pages.teamintraining.org/ia/nikesf11/bramseyruc

THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart to the tip of my running shoes!

LET'S FIND A CURE!

Caps and gowns have a whole new meaning....

2011-05-12T13:12:00.000-05:00

I remember when I graduated from high school 21 years ago this month. I had a large class (326 to be exact) and our ceremony was held in the UNI Dome at the University of Northern Iowa. It was kinda boring, actually. Music, clapping, music, walk across the stage, clapping, music, speech, clapping, blah, blah, blah. I got home that night, threw my cap on my bed, shrugged my shoulders and went on about the business of being a "real adult". Never crossed my mind again to be honest. I graduated high school....so what?

Today I have an entirely different perspective.

Today is my daughter's last day of high school with the grad ceremony on Sunday. I see things much differently this side of the party! No longer is it just business as usual. Graduation is a BIG DEAL!

I'm bursting with pride and fear all at the same time. I will miss tucking her in at night (I actually still do that and she's almost 19!) BUT....have no fear.....I have a plan! Each night she gets 3-4 "tuck in's" to build up and save so that when she moves in August she will have enough stored up until she's home on Christmas break. When I told her that is what I was doing, she laughed (I was expecting an eye roll!).

And when I went to walk away the first night, you know what she said? "Do it again, Momma.....I need more!"

Even if she is old enough to be a "real adult", she still needs and wants her momma to tuck her in. That right there will get me through the roller coaster of emotions surely to come in the next couple of months.

Thank you, God, for a heart that can and does swell over with love and affection for my children. :0)

1 Peter 1:3-9

2011-05-05T11:13:00.002-05:00

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3-9

That tasted JUST.LIKE.CHOCOLATE.....

A bit overwhelmed....

2011-05-05T10:10:00.004-05:00

Today is a day where I find myself simply OVERWHELMED. I can hardly get a grip on things. My intense need to control life is wearing me out. It's my own fault, though. I KNOW better. I KNOW it's not up to me and that change is GOOD! EVERYTHING around me is changing. Some for the better, some not. I just need to figure out how to deal with it.

Alli graduates from high school in just 9 days. Her grad party is this Saturday. With that alone, I'm filled with emotions - pride, overwhelming excitement, fear, worry and all that junk...and all at the same time. She is GRADUATING HIGH SCHOOL! Woot! That is an accomplishment for both her and me. My first child making her way into adulthood! Yeah! We did it and without any major scars to our relationship! HAHA!! YES!

And then, before I even get that sentence fully typed, I'm filled with fear and worry. What if's and who will's and my heart wants to protect her and be there. BUT, I can't. She is ready....I'm the one who isn't. Yeah, I've been telling everyone I am but, between you and me, I'm not.

Mark's mom is not getting better....sleeping more, on morphine more each day and it's HARD. Hard to watch her (even though I know where she is going and I WILL see her again), even harder to watch him. She is his mom. She is special to him and vice versa. I never thought it would be this hard. God has it all in His hands and is working this all out before us, but it's still HARD.

I need some stinkin' chocolate.....

Sunday's comin'.....

2011-04-21T09:41:00.005-05:00

I LOVE THIS VIDEO. It gives me goosebumps. I LOVE EASTER. It gives me hope. It gives me a heart full of gratefulness and peace. I LOVE JESUS and I am so very thankful for His gift! (Be sure to turn down the music at the bottom of this page before you play the video.)

Prom 2011

2011-04-20T09:32:00.010-05:00

My gorgeous baby attended her senior prom last Saturday. I know. She was on the prom court and had a good time for the most part (drama is ALWAYS part of the equasion in high school!). Enjoy! The first picture below is my favorite. Trust me when I tell you that she is absolutely as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

It was cooolllld....

Alli and her date (he looked like he was 12!)...

Kaity & Alli

Taylor & Alli

Kaity, Taylor & Alli

Stephy & Ashley....my other "daughters". :0)

Taylor & Kawner.....sisters! (Yeah....can't see Taylor and Carli EVER hugging like this but I can hope!)

Alli, Kawner & Taylor

The whole group...

Alli & Taylor

A different Katie & Alli

OUTTAKES!!! (my favorite part!
Alli shakin' her bum....showing everyone how she intends to dance!

Me & Alli

She said after the above was taken "Only one, momma?" I didn't know what else to do so I proceeded to embarrass her. It's my gift.

Mark likes the geese at Jordan Creek so I took this waiting for them to arrive.

Being "classy"....

Look at Kaity and Taylor....not sure what that was all about!

This one just makes me laugh.....

NO COMMENT.

What a goon!

"Ok, momma ENOUGH." :0)

My girl graduates from high school in just 25 days.....sigh...

My girl - she's got MOXIE!

2011-04-11T14:09:00.003-05:00

Carli played in a soccer tournament this weekend. These are some of my favorites I took. She's not only fun to watch, but it's kinda cool to sit back as a parent and watch your kiddo seriously grow right in front of your eyes. One of her games was a serious character ("MOXIE!") builder. Another tested her ability to leave it all on the field. All of them taught her a big lesson - who you are as a player is not only defined by how you play on the field, but even more importantly by how you walk off of it. She knew she could have done better, but she left it at the field - and came back and played better and stronger because of it.

That makes it worth the sunburn, long hours and not getting anything else done. I'm one proud momma.

Crystal

2011-03-31T16:13:00.003-05:00

Amannda

2011-03-31T16:07:00.002-05:00

Andrew

2011-03-31T16:04:00.000-05:00

Tyler....

2011-03-15T13:14:00.000-05:00

Ashley.....

2011-03-15T13:06:00.002-05:00

Bucket list for turning 40....

2011-03-09T12:51:00.005-06:00

That's right. I just told you my {upcoming} age. I'll be 40 in September!!!

sigh.

I've been thinkin' a lot lately about my age. About how I never thought I'd live to be 40 and how at age 20, 40 seemed so....old. It's not, I know, but it's a milestone that needs marked. I used to have a crazy dream....the same one over and over again from the time was a teenager until just recently. It was that I died in a car accident at age 42. Sad, but makes me feel like I need to celebrate my age and DO IT. Do life. Enjoy life. All that....

I struggled (that word should really be capitalized it was so bad) when I turned 30. Life changing struggle. I felt like the world was about to stop and all life as I knew it was going to completely end.

I know, the drama.

But it didn't. My kiddos were 9, 3 and 1.5 that year and we have not just survived, but thrived in the last 10 years. I met Jesus (and so did they - AMEN!). I moved two hours from my hometown which was so good for my healing. I met and married the greatest man on earth. They've grown (literally!) and I've grown. Period.

And so 40 will be here before I know it (in 193 days to be exact). I've made a list of a few of the things I want to do before my birthday. I reviewed my list from last year and could actually scratch a few more off that list too! Woot! Some of my new things I will do just because I am breathing and some I will have to force myself to do. Some will be easy, some hard. Either way, I'm a list kind a girl so just having an updated list makes me happy.

Fabulous 40 to do list:

1. Shoot a gun at a shooting range....
2. Drive a super cool car....
3. Learn to french braid.....again (this was a big one for me when I turned 30...I learned how to do it then promptly forgot...)....
4. Sit on a beach with my toes in the water for as long as I feel like it.... (and by beach I mean CONNECTED TO AN OCEAN, Mark. Gray's Lake does N.O.T. count!)....
5. Relax. Schedule less stuff and do more of nothing....
6. Send my baby to college....sniff, sniff
7. Get back in shape....
8. Take my family camping....overnight....in the woods....in a tent (this one makes me smile...some of my girls are NOT the outdoors type!)....
9. Find a charity that I am passionate about and pour myself in to it. LLS has been my charity of choice in the past, but I'm too "old" to run any more marathons....
10. Write a letter to my girls telling them how much they mean to me....

This list is a work in progress. Bet if I sat here long enough, I'd think of too many things to do!

Cheers to turning 40 and being happy about it!

A FIRST!!!

2011-03-08T15:16:00.006-06:00

Last night my church hosted the Iowa Faith & Freedom Coalition's Eleventh Annual Spring Kickoff. It was the "official" start to the 2012 Iowa Caucuses.

Please don't judge me. I'm not political. At all.

But last night was stinkin' COOL.

My pastor asked me to come and take some shots of him with the candidates. Former Speaker Newt Gingrich, Former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, Former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, Former CEO of Godfather's Herman Caine and Former Louisianna Governor and Congressman Buddy Roemer all spoke. Good stuff, really, but if you ask me we need to roll them all in one and then we'd have ourselves a PRESIDENT.

Just my opinion.

Anyway, I had to be part of the official press corp in order to get that exposure. Needed media credentials and all, my friends. Big STUFF. I've never had to do that before and boy was I nervous! When I walked up to the media table to check in and grab my badge, it was sitting next to Greta Van Sustern's badge (of Fox News fame and fortune). Yeah. I didn't take a picture of that....didn't want to look unprofessional or anything. :0)

So, all checked in and off we went, basically following Jeff around and ~~hoping~~ praying for a few good shots. In a room full of somebodies, I was, quite simply, a nobody. The private reception area held all kinds of big wigs, none of which I knew. I'm pretty sure I have no idea what kind of people were breathing the same air I was. Probably a good thing - I was nervous enough.

2,000 people showed up - they were expecting 600! It was so crowded and hard to get around. Every time Jeff got near a candidate, someone stepped in my shot. I'm not "forceful" enough I guess. :0)

Here are some of the highlights....

God has really opened some doors for me lately. Given me some rare opportunities to do His work and give Him some glory. How exciting and hard to believe all at the same time!

So....shot a book cover author photo....check. Shot 5 potential presidential candidates....check. Shot weddings, end of life celebrations, seniors, families, babies and more. I'm beyond humbled by the privileges I've been given.

So, hey, God.....What next?!?

A random post....

2011-03-08T09:10:00.004-06:00

Long time since I've written here. I didn't realize it had been that long!

I miss it.

Been a crazy few months. I've found myself lacking the words to express myself lately. Winter usually does that to me. Putting my camera down over the winter is a healing process that I always NEED, but miss dearly. I'm READY. Ready for Spring. Ready to be outside finding God in all the beauty that is coming. My camera is charged and ready to go.

I've done a few gigs this year so far so not totally down and out. Chick Night at church was fun (whoda thought a bunch of junior high and high school girls would get such a kick out of playing dress up and having their picture taken!), a Princess Party (what a COOL party - teaching 100+ little girls about how they are God's princesses! AWESOME.), a few senior shoots and marketing. I've certainly kept busy, but my list hasn't gotten crossed off like I'd hoped.

Mark and I are taking a class at church - Pursuit - that is changing the way I see God as well. I'm EXCITED to see what He does with this in my heart. I'm seeing Him in a different light - the right light.

Gotta run.....

I'll be back.

Note to Self - a reflection of 2010

2010-12-17T11:04:00.001-06:00

“If I only knew then what I know now…”

Boy, do those words make you cringe as you say them, huh? But what a great way to learn and grow and challenge yourself in the future, too.

It occurred to me as I was thinking about my annual prayer for the coming year post (click here for 2009 and 2010) that there is just so much in 2010 to reflect upon. Some good, some bad and all of it I wish I knew then what I know now.

You will join the YMCA, hook up with Team in Training for another marathon (this time in San Diego) and raise money like a mad woman. Even when your hip hurts, you’re too tired to fit it all in and it seems like another chore, don’t quit….you WILL regret it.

COMMIT TO IT.

Baby #3 will get braces. Don’t forget to tell her how beautiful she is inside and out as often as possible. She needs to hear it more than you know.

SAY IT.

Baby #4 turns 10. I know, the last of your babies is no longer single digits. It’s sad, but not the end of the world. Your babies are growing up faster than you’d like, but enjoy the rollercoaster ride. On every curve, massive climb and then rush down hill, throw your hands up and laugh. Scream like a girl if you must, but the ride just won’t last long enough.

ENJOY IT.

You will go on your first college visit with Baby #1. It will be hard and you will feel like you are about to have your right arm ripped off. Trust me….this gets easier. She doesn’t want to let go of you any more than you want to let go of her, but you both will be better for it.

CELEBRATE IT.

Baby #2 will finally get her driver’s permit with a little coaxing. Drivers Ed will soon start and even though her driving scares you, you can’t keep her in the house and safe forever. She’s a good driver and with some practice she will be just fine. And the best part? You will also learn that you love her because you want to, not because you have to.

RELAX ABOUT IT.

Suddenly, business will pick up. You won’t leave yourself enough time to enjoy the amazing gift that God has given you.

SCHEDULE IT.

Baby #4 makes a competitive soccer team. You are so proud and could not be happier to be “that mom”, but you thought you were busy before? Not hardly. Don’t forget to schedule time for your family to simply sit in front of the tv together doing nothing.

PRIORITIZE IT.

You will shoot your first wedding – and fall in love with capturing people who are in love. Never forget to look at your husband with that starry-eyed look every time he comes in the room. He is your biggest fan, your sounding board and the one who really does love you for exactly the way you are. You two are that in love couple.

REJOICE IN IT.

You learn very quickly that for every photoshoot you needed to schedule post-production time. You stress and sometimes do less than you should, but you are learning. Be open to better ways to do things and stop kicking yourself when you don’t do it right.

BE OPEN TO IT.

You turn 39. Last of the “under the hill” years begins. Don’t stress that either. No matter how hard you try, you will hit 40 regardless.

EMBRACE IT.

Because of your busy schedule, you will lose focus on hearing God's voice. Clean your ears out, dummy. He is speaking and you can't hear it because you have filled your quiet space with needless noise.

STOP IT.

Your husband will take a massive leap of faith and start his own business. It won't be easy. He will need your support, your undying devotion, your wise wisdom about some things some of the time and for you to stop talking and just listen most of the time. He has a vision, a dream, a prayer and a hope.

BELIEVE IN IT.

Someone your husband dearly loves is slowly dying in front of you. She is a great woman. One of the best. You learn to love her, too, a second mom. Give her all that you have and don't leave anything unsaid or undone. You are learning what it means to just "be" with someone. Giving your heart, your time and your attention - it's priceless to her....and you.

SHARE IT.

Open your heart when you feel the desire to close it. Take off the blinders when its easier to move ahead without looking around. Choose to love instead of dislike. Learn from your mistakes instead of beating yourself down. IN ALL THINGS, REJOICE in the gifts you have been given. Good, bad or ugly, all of it is because you are loved by HIM and HE has a purpose and a plan.

FOLLOW IT.

2010 has been quite a year. I'm excited for the future and am for the first time in a really long time (if ever) ok with not seeing what's next. All I do know is in 2011 I'll hold fast and pray for God's wisdom, peace and understanding.

“If I only knew then what I know now…”

Mama said there'd be days like this....

2010-12-10T10:30:00.005-06:00

What a day. Not really anything major, but I feel my heart pull today.....in the wrong direction.

I woke up grumpy for really no good reason. I went to bed grumpy last night just the same.

I have a million excuses for why I'm grumpy....all revolving around 4 children who can't seem to figure out how to do a single chore without having to be told, encouraged...ok....yelled at. How a child (she's EIGHTEEN) can be lazy enough to leave her laundry in the washer and dryer for three days even after I moved them for her twice, or how another child (she's SEVENTEEN) can't figure out how to get said clothes from the dryer to the lazy sister in order to do her own laundry without asking how to do it (and then proceeding to dump my DIRTY clothes on my BED to use MY basket).

Seriously. GRRROWL.

Oh, there's more. Like how someone can brush their teeth and not rinse the sink afterwords (can you say yuck?). Or how someone can leave every single thing they own practically on the couch tables every night and not care that it's all piled up around them as they sit on the couch (can you say claustrophobic?) . Or how someone can scoop out one cup of dog food for one dog while the other is outside knowing the one scoop is not enough for both dogs, but doesn't care to just scoop ONE MORE CUP (can you say selfish?). Or how I've worked ALL DAY at one job then get home at night to spend hours on the computer doing what needs done for the second job and everyone else in the house seems to be sitting around eating bon bons and watching their favorite tv shows (yes, I'm a bit jealous) and I have to STOP what I'm doing to get lazy children numbers 3 and 4 to take a SIMPLE shower (they are NOT babies!). All the while explaining AGAIN how it's NOT.OK.TO.BE.A.DIRTY.PIG.

I'm exhausted.

I feel disrespected.

I work hard and no one really seems to care.

I have to go to a holiday party (in my absolute GRINCH mood) and spend my precious time with people I don't really care about (I go because I love my husband, but seriously, I'm borderline anti-social here).

I feel like taking a nap and HOPING that someone other than me will load and unload the dishwasher without being asked and without a heavy sigh of "woe is me" from people who have NO IDEA what a woe is really about.

Don't get me wrong. Our home isn't horribly filthy, and I'm probably a bit hyper-sensitive to things that need done and simply ARE NOT getting done. Our home looks lived in and it's too small for 6 people so the problem is probably just compounded by that. Either way I CAN'T STAND IT. I should just clean it myself every week, but for cryin' out loud. I have TWO nearly fully time jobs already! I thought I raised my girls better than that....to want to live somewhere at least decent enough for people to stop in unexpectantly (hell to the no!) or to want to be able to have friends over without being embarrassed (clearly they are not).

Oh, well.

Mama said there'd be days like these....

44....

2010-12-02T08:49:00.004-06:00

44 years ago today the world was made a better place when the cutest blond baby boy entered the world.

I AM SO THANKFUL FOR THIS DAY 44 YEARS AGO.

Today my adorable husband turns 44. Sometimes he acts like he's 4 and other times he acts like he's 84, but ALL THE TIME, I love him.

It's been a crazy year since his last birthday. We've grown in our marriage exponentially. We've fought and made up and laughed and cried. He took a GIANT leap of faith and followed God's lead by starting his own business. He continued to give so selflessly of his time at church with the 2nd and 3rd graders (no easy task, but the boys look up to him and the girls fight over who gets to sit next to him during lesson time). He put on his cape (he is a super hero, ya know) and came to the rescue of many people in desperate need of God's truth regarding their finances. He held the hand of those who are sad and hurt by situations that make no sense. He continued to be a source of strength for his parents in times when no one else seems to be able to do so. He leads with a quietness that makes everyone around him feel safe and well taken care of.

He is MY husband.

Mark: I continue to thank God for you every single day. You are such an amazing person, someone to be respected, adored and admired. I pray that the next year brings us much happiness and that your work that God has given you continues to bless others, bring you joy and give glory to Him at every twist and turn. THANK YOU for choosing me. My life and the lives of our girls has FOREVER changed because you are exactly who you say you are....a man of God first, the husband of my dreams, the kind of dad every daughter dreams of and a friend many are lucky to know.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Marky.

I love ya, babe.

"I always thank God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus." ~ 1 Corinthians 1:4

Matt & Jamey - a wedding to remember....

2010-11-29T15:45:00.001-06:00

Enjoy the highlights from this wedding filled with love and laughter!

Laughter....

2010-11-11T20:07:00.003-06:00

It really is one of God's greatest gifts....and my absolute favorite thing to catch in a photo. If my subject is laughing, I've done my job and the shoot is a success. :0)

Been super, DUPER busy...so much so I've not posted much. BUT, I have much to share. I'll be back soon with lots of pictures and stories to tell!

When something is right....

2010-10-22T11:12:00.006-05:00

Sitting at the computer working on post-production like a mad woman....and then the best thing happens.

This:

As I sit here, I realize that God has given me a unique opportunity to share Him with my subjects. What a great job I have.

Pretty sure this is my favorite pic ~~from 2010~~ EVER. Just sayin'.

Smiles.....

2010-10-08T10:16:00.001-05:00

Turn down the music at the bottom of my blog. This is worth the watch. :0)

My daughter....and a tree....

2010-09-27T09:08:00.000-05:00

Round three of senior pictures yesterday. Hoping the kid finds something she likes SOON. Here is one that cracked me up yesterday....and just now. Gotta love her.

Just right this second...

2010-09-24T08:54:00.004-05:00

I love it when this happens. When you are in that "place" where all things seem to come together and even through the mega-stress of getting things done you feel completely at ease.

It doesn't happen often. Trust me. I'm a freak of nature most of the time....mind racing, eyes twitterin', spazin' out all over the place (slight exaggeration, but ya feel me?).

But today, right this second, it all feels....easy.

Right this very second I have been reminded:

that I have a HUGE God who has seriously proven, once again, that He is here and He is GOOOOD....
that I have been so beyond measure blessed with a husband who means what he says and does what he means....
that my "quiver is full" and no matter how much it scares me that one of my "arrows" will be flying off my bow in no time flat (231 days til graduation!), she will always be in my heart and never far from home....
that I've been given a gift. Something I truly love, deep, deep down....and people keep "showing up" and needing photos for this and that. The latest? An author from TEXAS, here in my town, meeting my pastor at the very moment she gets the call that her book is going to publication NEXT WEEK and she needs to submit a headshot for the BOOK COVER ASAP. Just so happens that my pastor knows a photographer that will "rock your socks". Tell me God wasn't in THAT. Shoot is tonight. :0)
that no matter where I am, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling or anything else, all I have to do is LOOK UP. It is in that act of just slightly lifting my eyes toward the sky that I find my greatest peace.

Ahhh.....I feel safe in the wisdom I have just regained. Just right this second.

"I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth." ~ Psalm 121:1-2

1 + 1 = a couple a nuts

2010-09-14T15:37:00.009-05:00

Meet twins Vanessa and Trevor (I put Vanessa first...Trevor is a minute older and always gets to go first. You're welcome, V...).

Boy, did we have fun. I'm pretty sure we laughed all afternoon. This family = too funny. They call mom Vivo (Vivian) and dad DJ (his initials). Only time I ever heard "mom" was when Vanessa would yell "MA!" like a good italian girl from Jersey. Believe me when I tell you she is NOT from Jersey....rather a small farm town in Iowa. We just don't have accents like that. She was seriously channeling some Jersey girl. :0)

They also had a plan.....and, man, do I love a plan. They knew where they wanted to go and what they wanted to do. I got to take them to one of my favorite places too....the campus of Central College in Pella. Beau-t-ful.

So here are my favorite out-takes and the ones that worked. It was a tough choice....these kiddos are too cute and too funny.

I paid him .50 cents to show me his best "diva pose"...... hahahaha!!!!

I wanted her to put the ball by her face and give me her best "I'll kick your arse in volleyball" face, but she could NOT do it. :0)

And for my favs....

So thank you Jack family for making our trip a fun one! You guys are seriously awesome!!!

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Babies no longer...

2010-09-14T10:07:00.002-05:00

T&C tagged along on a shoot I had on Sunday. I took this of them waiting on us. My babies are babies no longer. Part of me is excited about that and part of me is sad. There are days I miss them being little! Oh, well. Life moves on without you if you stay in one place too long.....

Calm during the storm...

2010-09-08T08:35:00.006-05:00

As the storm of doubt, fear, worry and anticipation swirls around me, I stand, protected by the full force of my God....again. Just a few minutes ago I was being blow around with great force. Feeling the full affect of "what if's" and "maybes" as my mind raced to all the undeniable possibilities. But now, by simply typing and reading the scriptures below, I calmly feel fully protected by the promise that NO.MATTER.WHAT, He is here and He is good.

"And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." ~ James 5:15-16

“The Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting …” ~ Psalm 100:5

“For with God nothing will be impossible.” ~ Luke 1:37

“Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us.” ~ Ephesians 3:20

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds … Great is our Lord, and mighty in power …” ~ Psalm 147:3

“And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” ~ Philippians 4:19

“For the Lord is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” ~ Psalm 84:11

“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” ~ Hebrews 13:8

“Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray.” ~ James 5:13

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” ~ Matthew 7:7

“Yet you do not have because you do not ask.” ~ James 4:2

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” ~ Hebrews 11:1

Today I'm praying for hope, peace, understanding and the ability to stand upright no matter what.

"I do, you do, we're done"

2010-09-07T10:57:00.003-05:00

"I do, you do, we're done"....

Those were the words Jack (jokingly) thought they should use during the vow portion of the wedding.

Yeah. That didn't fly.

What did fly, though, was beautiful. What a gorgeous, absolutely beautiful day for a wedding! Turns out Jack and Lea Ann clean up well! :0) They had a ceremony made just for them, gorgeous flowers and dresses and a church full of people who all have seen the walk they have taken and the way God has turned them toward each other. What a cool, cool thing.

I personally was more dressed up for this wedding than I was my own. :0( Not that I wanted more dressed up for mine, just that I'm a simple girl who wears hardly any makeup so to go from nearly zero to a full face, I felt like a hussy. I will NOT be sharing any pictures.

You're welcome.

Anyway, I'm so excited for my wonderful friends. For the love they have for each other and the love they have for the rest of us. THANK YOU for letting me be a part of your awesome day. I will cherish our friendship forever and Mark and I are here if you ever need us....just as you have been for us.

Lea Ann: you better get a piece of paper and practice writing that name....it's a doozie, Mrs. DeLeon! :0)

"Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." ~ Ruth 1:16-17

Random mishmosh....

2010-09-03T09:27:00.005-05:00

Dude.

I'm tired. I'm bored (and I should NOT be - I have enough work to do to keep three people working full time for two weeks!). I'm worn out. I'm exhausted.

My ADD is killin' me.

Lots of crazy, random thoughts running through my head today (and everyday) so this post will be a bit mishmosh (I made up that word. It's all mine. Feel free to use it....or not).

I read a new (to me) blog yesterday and God was talking to me. Yep, me. Read this post....especially if you have children leaving or about to leave for college. It's from Soulfari and my new blog buddy, Jay. I'm tellin' ya. Good stuff. My Alli is a senior this year and I am totally avoiding the "what next" stage I am in right now. I'M.SIMPLY.NOT.READY. 'Cuz, you know, it's allll about me. Anyway, read it. Made me begin to think about how blessed I am to be able to let her go. Sigh.

Tonight is Jack and Lea Ann's wedding rehearsal. I'm excited. Tomorrow is the wedding. I get my hairs did and my face "put on". I'll take a picture to show ya. Should be fun....different, but fun. Looking forward to Jack and Lea Ann's wedding. It's been a long time coming (click here to see their engagement photos)! He proposed at our Christmas Eve Eve services last year. They have been plannin' and stressin' and figurin' it all out. This weekend is the culmination of a lot of hard work, but most importantly, God's plan for each of them finally becoming a reality. Woot.

Yesterday I hit a wall. Not literally (felt like it, though). Lots of little things happening lately making me question my photog dreams and desires. I see now, reflecting back on the day, that it was the fat bastard (aka "little guy downstairs") messin' with my head, making me question my desire, my talent and my skill. I'm so thankful for my hubs. He loved me right through my temper tantrum and even said some nice things to the world on Facebook (without being prompted to do so - what a guy). Seriously. Life stinks when things go wrong, accounting goes bad, doubts surface and I ~~want to throw things~~ pout. But God gave me the greatest man ever and he seriously talked me off the ledge....again.

Today is a new day. The joy really does come in the morning. My God is my victory, He is here and He continues to love on me when I need it the most.

Here's to an awesome weekend of soccer for my baby, safe travels for her, my other sweet baby and their dad's family as they get where they are going, for my oldest baby and her "Meals for the Heartland" shift with her friends tomorrow, for my head to stay "clear" of the fat bastard and his crazy shenanigans and for Jack and Lea Ann. May God bless your marriage in ways you can't even begin to imagine. My advice to you both....never forget your wedding day. Tomorrow is your gift from Him. Don't waste it. Happy marriage guys. Love ya!

And with that I leave you with my all time favorite verse: "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!" ~ Philippians 4:13

Peace out, my peeps.

Blessings....

2010-09-01T10:52:00.003-05:00

I had the pleasure of shooting a family of 51 (yes....51) on Sunday. The premise for the shoot was not a happy one...the patriarch of the family has cancer (again) and has not been given much time. His entire family came from all over to be there for a family reunion and to celebrate his life.

Now, I don't know about you but doing "end of life" photos is not my idea of a good time. It was a huge blessing to me, though. Larry and his family love each other. I learned a lesson....it doesn't matter who you belong to, which parent is yours and which parent is your step. It doesn't matter, because you are family. No family is perfect, this one either. BUT....they came together in what is a very hard time for all of them, I'm sure, and laughed. They played and talked and hugged and all that good stuff that happens when family gets together.

It was absolutely my pleasure to be a part of this day. I met a man who wanted to show me his life....the pictures on the wall in the "party barn", the land he owned, the grandchildren and great-grands that are "his"....all of it. I got to hang with, for just a small period of time, a man that has lived his life and has no regrets. I met his wife, who very clearly loves him and their family. A woman who is exactly who she is and could care less if you like it or not. My kind of lady.

I don't know where Larry is going after he passes on. I do know that he still has time to figure that out. God is there, waiting for him to answer the knock on his heart if he hasn't already done so. My God is so big....and I know He loves Larry and each member of that family unconditionally. Run to Him, Larry. I'd love to get to know you better in heaven.

Thank you Wickersham family! For allowing this sinner saved by grace to be a part of your family for just a few short hours. You have truly, honestly changed my heart forever.

Enjoy the video and don't forget to turn off the music at the bottom of the blog before you hit play.

P.S. Mr. Larry gives "the finger" in a few shots. Don't let that bother you. He is who he is and all you can do is smile..... And yes....that is a moonshine still in the last picture. :0)

My favorite of the day....me and Larry. What a cool, cool soul. God bless you, Mr. Wickersham! May your remaining days be filled to the brim with love and laughter.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." ~ Joshua 1:9

Meet Kaity....

2010-08-31T11:09:00.006-05:00

She thinks I forgot to introduce her to you. I didn't. I just thought I did and, well, I didn't. So, I'm sorry Kaity! I owe you! :0)

Meet Kaity. She.is.a.nut. This kid was the mastermind for tee-pee'ing my house last year at homecoming. Yeah. I found out about it when I was creepin' on my daughter on FaceBook. Kaity will get hers this year. I'm gonna pick one tree in her yard and just COVER it. Then sit in the shade and laugh while she cleans it up. Hahahahaaaaa {insert evil laugh}.....

Honestly, though, this kid is gorgeous. She's funny, smart and just plain stinkin' cute! We had a blast and with the Salisbury House as our location, how can you go wrong. In a few weeks we are going to her house to shoot her with her horse. I'm super excited about that!!! I brought along my second photo, Patty, and I haven't seen what she got yet! Yeah....there are a TON of pictures from this shoot so it was hard to pick my favorites!

So enjoy Miss Kaity....

Hee hee.... :0)

I think this is my favorite of the day....there are too many!

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" ~ Jeremiah 29:11

Meet Taylor....

2010-08-26T15:37:00.011-05:00

You don't know her, but you should. Cracks.Me.Up. Mostly because her attitude soooo reminds me of my own. Taylor has no fear of saying what is on her mind. Good, bad or otherwise. I like that about her. She is one of my Alli's besties and they play soccer together, hang out and, honestly, have both mastered the art of acting "dumb". It's hilarious, while absolutely not even remotely close to being politically correct. I'll leave out those details in an effort to not offend anyone, but they really are very funny.

Anyway, meet Taylor. She has the most gorgeous red/blonde hair and really her smile just lights up the room. When she laughs her eyes close and her nose wrinkles. You'll see what I mean. First the "bloopers"....

Ok....not really a blooper, but I LOVE getting pictures of people laughing!!! :)

Not sure what she is pointing at....Alli is who is she is looking at and I'm pretty sure they are talking about a mom of a kid they go to school with who was walking the track. Not in a bad way, just discussing her son.

She's making a "what is that smelllll?!?!?" face....

Gotta love the wind....

Now for the ones that worked..... :0)

I'll be "getting rid" of the "Taylor H" on her ball in final post production....just love the picture.

She can seriously look right through you. If you don't know her she'd scare you with that look! Those who do know her, know she smiles once in a while. :0)
One of my favs of the day....

Hahahahaaaaa!!! Our town has some pretty cool brick streets. I wanted to do this in the middle of the street, but too sunny. Still funny, though.

My favorite of the day.....

You go girl. I had fun wandering the construction zone and contributing to the deliquency of a minor....then remembering you are already 18 so you were on your own if the cops showed up! :0)

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

Meet Talia....

2010-08-20T10:59:00.004-05:00

Meet Talia....we went out on T.H.E. hottest day of the year and only lasted a half an hour (Not even kidding. When I got home, I saw on the news that the heat index was 111!!! I can't believe we didn't melt sooner!). Can't even tell you how pretty this girl is even when she's sweating to death!! We go out again next week, but I wanted to post my favs so far.

My favorite of the day....

Can't wait to see what else we can get on a much cooler day! More to come....

Twelve....

2010-08-20T09:31:00.004-05:00

August 20, 1998, my oldest daughter's first day of kindergarten. I'm an emotional wreck. 9+ months prego, very large and in charge, emo to the hilt. It's 5 p.m. or so and we are heading to the hospital to be induced (I had gestational diabetes and this was the day for my induction had I not yet gone into labor on my own). We get there, all is good. Meds started for the induction and they send me into the hallways to walk....and walk we did. Seemed like hours.

We progress and the evening goes well. My oldest daughter heads to my moms for the night. The nurse and my husband are talking about my plan for a natural birth...."she's doesn't want any pain meds," he tells her. I agree, but shiver at the thought. When things get farther along, I decide maybe that was not a wise choice. It hurts. The nurse makes a deal. "I'll go get a shot ready, check on the other moms in the unit and be back. If you want it then, I'll give it to you." I don't see her face for an hour! When she returns I'm magically too far along for any pain meds to help me. "Too late in the game," she says. I know she "left" for so long on purpose. The thought of wringing her neck was fleeting. Oh well. No turning back now.

Time to push. No doc in sight. Nurse says he is on the way. When he finally gets there, I SWEAR he slid into the room he was running so fast. He got there in time (was stopped by the po-po on the way for speeding then escorted to the hospital by the police officer when he found out why doc was speeding!)....got there JUST IN TIME to catch. She had the cord wrapped around her neck. Doc stopped what he was doing, looked me straight in the eye and said "DO.NOT.MOVE" His poker face was left at home in his rush to get to the hospital. I was scared. My husband looked and turned white.

Doc got things back under control and at 12:25 a.m., August 20, 1998, my sweet Taylor Elizabeth was born. She was beautiful! Within an hour of her arrival I was up walking around. In fact, I was tired of waiting on the nurses to move me so I packed up my stuff and moved myself. I felt that good from not having any pain meds. The rest is history....

She was my easiest pregnancy, my easiest labor, I felt the best after she was born. Now that she is a pre-teen, though, I hope she doesn't decide to make up for that in attitude now!

Taylor started 7th grade this past Tuesday. My, how fast time flies. Children literally grow up in the blink of an eye. {tears}

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEET TAYLOR!!! You are a huge blessing to me. Your future is so bright and you have grown into such an amazing young lady. I so look forward to watching you grow into God's plan for you. You are everyone's biggest cheerleader, the one every goes to for fashion advice, the one with the longest legs (my little giraffe!), the one who digs her church group and Jesus, the one who hugs me the tightest (when I get hugs...you're slackin' in that area these days, kid. Pick it up.). I love you with all my heart, baby girl.

My three favorite words when it comes to you?

THAT'S MY DAUGHTER....

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. This is my command: Love each other." ~ John 15:16-17

My God is the God who provides....

2010-08-19T08:35:00.003-05:00

Today is a good day. Today is a scary day. Today is THE day.

My husband is on a journey. One of letting go, moving forward, spreading his wings and....FLYING.

Beginning tomorrow, Mark is a 100% commission guy. Selling life insurance and doing investments. Changing lives. It's his calling. His God-given gift to help people with their finances. I've listened to him talk to people and my favorite thing that he says:

"I'll meet you right where you are."

That's powerful and not at all the way the rest of the world works. That's why I believe in him and that's why I adore him.

He's scared today....of letting his "girls" down, of failure, of not doing what's "best" for our family and leaving us in a gap that will be hard to get out of.

I'm scared today....of him not believing in himself enough, of him thinking he will fail (when I know that I know that I know that he won't) and of him losing sight of God's gift to him.

BUT....this is where the rubber meets the road. He CAN do this. He CAN change peoples lives. Getting people on a plan to get out of debt is an amazing thing and I have 100% confidence he will succeed.

Success to me is not him being a major money earner. Even if he only makes $20k a year, I'm ok with that. You know why? Money in our pocket isn't the goal. That's not why God gave him this gift. God gave him the gift of helping others through tough financial times to HELP them. Period.

My husband is a thinker. Thinks too much, if you ask me, but then again, I often times wish I had thought about my next step before taking a flying leap off that 80 story building without a parachute. I'm a jump right in and beg for forgiveness later kind of girl. He is a planner, strategic thinker, think before you speak and know all possible scenarios kind of guy. That's why we work, I guess. Balance.

So today I can't help but think about Hebrews 12:1 ~ "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

I love this verse. In its context it is talking about perseverance and the Christian life. Hebrews 11 lists all kinds of the people before us who have persevered and keep their eye on the end prize. And they did so by walking by FAITH and not by sight. They could not see what God had promised, but they knew He had promised them something so they kept putting one foot in front of the other keeping their eyes on HIM.

In the case of Mark's new journey, I offer this take on Hebrews 12:1....

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses..." The people of the past who have showed us how to be faithful in times of massive uncertainty...they have lead the way. Follow their lead....

"....let us throw off everything that hinders...." Drop your doubt, concern, fear, uncertainty, anxiety....

"....and the sin that so easily entangles...." Your unbelief that God is calling you out, paving the way.....HE.IS.HERE. You may not see Him so clearly right now, but I do.

"....and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Be steadfast in your faith, keep your eyes on Him and believe in the gift He has given YOU.

My God is a God who provides. One who does what He says He is going to do. A God so full of complete and amazing, abundant, overflowing love that He would not lead us astray. His path is straight and narrow. His ways are better than ours and His plan is bigger than we can even imagine.

THE JOY COMES IN THE MORNING, BABE. Let go and let God. I LOVE YOU......MORE!!!

Meet Shane....

2010-08-18T15:58:00.003-05:00

Meet Shane. Funny guy. Smart. Into acting. Great sense of humor. Going into the Army after graduation. What a cool kid. These are my favs, although we did take some of him in a suit that turned out nicely too. I'm just more into the casual look!

My favorite of the day! I so love black and white photos.

Shane: GOOD LUCK and THANK YOU in advance for your service to our country. I know your momma is a little nervous, and I know I would be if I was her, BUT she is proud too. We salute you!

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it." ~ John 1:5

Jack & Lea Ann wedding video

2010-08-17T13:43:00.002-05:00

Have a look-see at what I made for J & L to play at their reception! Soooo love making videos of the pictures I take..... I {heart} ANIMOTO! :0)

{P.S. Don't forget to turn down the music at the bottom of my blog before you watch this!}

Beth &Ty

2010-08-16T15:00:00.005-05:00

So just a quick few of my favorites from the wedding I did on Saturday. Cute couple, great wedding, lots of love and good times. Learned a lot and had fun in the process! Could not ask for more. More later but couldn't resist sharing my favorites....

Not one, but TWO "get away" cars!

As huge Toy Story fans, the decorations were so stinkin' cute! As farmers, they chose the RIGHT colors as well....GREEN AND YELLOW ALL THE WAY BABY! :0)

Thank you, Beth & Ty, for letting us be a part of your day. Can't wait to get through the rest and get them to you so you can smile as much as we did. HAPPY MARRIAGE!

A special thank you....

2010-08-13T14:01:00.004-05:00

Today is my mother-in-law's 65th birthday. {HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EILEEN!! -- she doesn't read my blog, but I had to say it anyway...} I'm having a hard time forming my words here, but I know I have a desire to share her with all of you. So, bear with me. The point of this post will come eventually.

Eileen is home bound and she is at the end stages of her life. Getting around is not easy on her. Her breathing has diminished to the point where the act of getting off the couch is a labored event. At 65, she should not be in this stage of her life. She's just too young. Eileen relies on others to do most everything for her. She's grateful for the help, but I know she'd rather be more independent. Who wouldn't, right?

I've seen old photographs of her with her family and friends and I've laughed at the "remember when..." comments that almost always follow a memory being triggered. Funny how one old picture can start an entire room laughing 'til your side hurts.

I've heard stories of her and Tony (Mark's dad) livin' it up, dancin' the night away and how they could throw a mean party back in the day. I've heard that she was rough, yet loving, honest but not at all afraid to speak her mind and quite simply hell on wheels when she wanted to be. You didn't ever want to get on her bad side, though. She was a momma bear always ready to protect her cubs and letting go of a grudge was not in her vocabulary.

I never knew her like that, though. I never got to meet her when she was wild and crazy and I'm not so sure she would have liked me. As I write that, I realize that's a pretty silly statement, because I've also heard that she loved everyone that walked through the door. Didn't matter your color, your financial status, your addictions or your hurts. If you walked through her door, you belonged to her.

She's still that way. Loves company, greets you with a big smile and can't wait to hear about your life. She'll surely tell you how she's feeling or ask you to do her a favor here and there, but she mostly just wants you to talk with her. Be her friend, let her love on you and just love on her right back. You'll be glad you did.

So today I feel like I need to say out loud....THANK YOU, Eileen. For being a good momma, for raising your son to be a real man, for loving people you don't even know and for never seeming to be afraid of who you are. With you, one never has to guess where you stand. I like that. Better yet, I respect that. Thank you for accepting me as if I've always been there. For allowing me to serve you in ways that I never though you would. Thank you for teaching ME a lesson or two about life.....it ain't always about what's happening around you, it's about what's happening in your heart.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SWEET LADY. I wish you many, many, many, many, many more birthdays filled with love and your family surrounding you.

(My husband, Eileen and Tony - August 29, 2009....my wedding day.)

"The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the LORD, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age..." ~ Psalm 92:12-15

Walk the line....

2010-08-05T13:20:00.004-05:00

He walks the line....every day.

Keeping his anger in check, being quick to listen and slow to speak. Doing the right thing and nearly agonizing over what that really is sometimes.

My husband walks the line. But...don't mess with him.

'Cuz I have no fear of walkin' a little crooked.

I'm angry today.

My husband is dealing with a messed up situation. He's getting treated like a second class citizen. Oh, yes....he's angry, too, but in a much better way than me.

He's a great man of God. He knows that justice will be served. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it WILL be served.

This message is cryptic on purpose because it's his story to tell. All I can do is express my 100% support of him and encourage him. NO MORE. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Walk away and hold your head high, baby. WE WILL BE OK....wait....WE WILL BE BETTER THAN OK. God has opened this door....He is letting you out. Walk through it and move ahead. The decision has been made and now we can work on the next steps. No more limbo, no more wondering, just....no more.

My fierce loyalty gets me into trouble sometimes and I'm totally ok with that - FYI. I know what Mark knows, too, about justice being served in God's time. It's just hard for me to watch him struggle and be treated this way.

He 's a much better person than me.....'cuz he walks the line.

Privileges....

2010-08-05T09:35:00.010-05:00

I do not take for granted...not for one single second...the privileges I am given when I am asked to shoot a family. For someone to let me "in", to see them for who they really are and to allow me to show the world what I see when I look at them....what a privilege.

Meet my friend Jean (whom I affectionately call "Jeano"). This is Jeano's family.

They are adorable...I am sure you will agree.

What a privilege....to call you my friend, Jeano, but more importantly for getting to see your sweet family in a different light. You, my friend, are a great momma. I smile when I see you all together.

(I had to throw this in....she is still "wobbly" at times and cracked me up when I saw it!)

The "finger".... :0)

Nope. Gotta go dad....not gonna sit still!

WHAT A SWEET BOY. So good, loves his sister and was an adorable cheeseball!

I LOVE THIS. Cracks me up. I have a picture almost exactly like this of my oldest baby. So funny!

My favorite of the day....

They were running to Jeano. I L.O.V.E. the looks on their faces. A momma's dream right there!

If this doesn't make you smile, nothing will....

"Please momma? More candy?"

Second fav of the day....

THANK YOU JEANO!! Can't wait to watch these sweet babies grow. You have been blessed beyond measure....

"Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." ~ Proverbs 22:6

Acceptance....

2010-08-04T13:57:00.004-05:00

We all want to fit in, to be accepted. The below picture was just that for me. This sweet 18 month old baby girl finally accepted me after almost an hour of hanging out during our shoot. She "fingered" me (her parents and brother taught her to "fist" and "finger"....like a high 5, but so much cooler).

I was so happy to be accepted.

More of my favorites soon.

For now, I'm just living in the afterglow of acceptance.

The Laxton Family

2010-08-03T08:58:00.001-05:00

What a cool, cool family. Be sure to turn off the music at the bottom of the blog before you hit play!

Enjoy!

If a picture is worth....

2010-07-30T15:37:00.004-05:00

....1,000 words, this one is PRICELESS.

This was last night. My Alli on the left, Stephy in the middle and Ashleigh on the right. They were pretending to dumpster dive.

This is what friendship looks like.

It's not the greatest of pictures....many things fundamentally wrong with it, but I don't post it because it's award winning....

...even though it is.

It's award winning because it shows how life should be lived. With friends. Laughing. Loving each other even through your kookiest of qwerks....and getting to be YOU without any fear of the consequences of that.

It's beautiful and it makes my heart absolutely swell.

The next Tiger....

2010-07-29T08:57:00.004-05:00

I got to meet the next Tiger Woods the other night (Tiger the golfer not Tiger the scandal). Andrew is a senior at Urbandale....and he has big dreams! Never shot a golfer before but it was fun. He had very specific shots he wanted and it was seriously nice to have half the shoot already figured out for me! Below are my favorites....

This kid should ALWAYS wear blue. Just sayin'.

And my favorite of the day.....

Watch out ladies....this guy is the real deal! :0)

Andrew: Thank you for letting me shoot your senior pictures! I look forward to seeing you in SI and Golfer's Digest in the years to come (remember us little peeps!). NEVER.STOP.CHASING.YOUR.DREAMS. They may not end up exactly how you pictured it, but TRUST ME. God will work it out as HE has planned and that plan is beyond anything you can possibly imagine. Good luck in your senior year!

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~ Isaiah 40:29-31

Love like crazy....

2010-07-28T14:48:00.008-05:00

Damon is three. Damon is big. Damon is adorable. Damon....is LOVED. No doubt in my mind this kid lacks nothing from his sweet momma and her parents.

Mom trying to get him to throw something in the creek. He did NOT get it. Wanted to go next to the creek (down a steep, muddy hill!). Funny to watch his face as he tried to understand what she was asking him to do.

Runnin' with momma....

I liked this one and included it here because it will NOT BE LONG and he will be putting HIS hand on HER head. Trust me on this one.

One of my all time favorite family pictures....

If I were them, I'd choose this one as my holiday card! Can you see the love?!?

Makes my heart absolutely smile....and count the days 'til I get a grandson (only a minimum of 3,650 days if you really want to know).

"Down, Set....HIKE!" He will definitely be a football center!

He had more fun with the squirt bottle than anything else! He got a real kick out of spraying everyone....even me! It felt goooooood! :0)

Hee hee.....

Another holiday card possibility. Life isn't always picture perfect so neither should our pictures be perfect. This is THEM so why not have a picture of them as they are?!?

Bubbles....a photographers best friend when shooting kiddos. Bring them EVERYWHERE!

My favorite of the day. Look at grandpa and Damon's face! LOVE IT!

So thank you, sweet Throckmorton's!!! It was so much fun to capture you as you are all together. You love like CRAZY and it's cool to watch! Looking forward to watching Damon grow with you!

"But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." ~ Joshua 24:15

Little boy bums and laughter....

2010-07-27T16:14:00.002-05:00

Couldn't resist showing you two of my favorites from a 3 year old shoot on Sunday. Gotta love little boy bums and LAUGHTER.

More later!

And finally....a SMILE.

2010-07-26T10:51:00.004-05:00

Meet Leandra. She tried so hard not to smile. I was so glad that she did, though! What a beautiful girl. Never met her until the night of the shoot and I was impressed with her almost immediately. She is obviously very pretty, but also a track runner (hurdles and long jump for sure, probably some other fast stuff that wears me out just thinking about) and smart. Gotta love a pretty, fast, smart girl! Below are my favs from last week. Took more last night that I will put up soon. The post below this one titled "Toes"?? Those are Ms. Leandra's toes. :0) Might have to enter that one in the State Fair next year. Love it!

My favorite of the day....

Or maybe this one.....her eyes. They pierce you but in a "it's cool" kind of way. She is pretty when she doesn't smile but even prettier when she does.

A.T.T.I.T.U.D.E.....When I said "give me your best attitude", this is what I got. LOVE IT!

She is by far the most adventureous Senior I've had to date. Wanted to be fully in the water in her new clothes! It was fun, though. I bet when she gets married someday she will totally do a "trash the dress" session in the water! How fun would that be!!

Tied for my favorite picture of the day.....

I L.O.V.E. this one. :0)

So glad to get to shoot your senior pictures Leandra! You are such a pretty girl with a lot going for you. May your future be as bright as your SMILE! Remember that you are who you are and exactly the way God made you. Letting people see the real you isn't as hard as it seems.....and they will surely be blessed when they do!

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Toes....

2010-07-23T13:45:00.001-05:00

:0) More later....

What a smile!

2010-07-21T10:47:00.006-05:00

Last night was a senior session with Ashley. Known her for many years....her and Alli used to play soccer together back in the day. Ashley is also a senior rep for me for her high school. And what a doll! Her smile absolutely lights up the room. Very cool for me (and truly an honor) to get to be a small part of a kid's senior year. I do not take it for granted and love every minute of it. Below are my favorites from her session....some edited, some straight out of the camera. Yeah....she's that stinkin' cute! :0)

I love this one....it's her laughing at something her mom or sister said and was when she started to relax with me. Also was when I got to see the "real" Ashley for the first time last night. When she laughs, she throws her head back. It's actually adorable. Once I pointed it out, though, we laughed because she tried NOT to do it! :0)

I can't tell you all my secret locations because then I'd hafta kill ya....jk....but this was in a DITCH. I know....girlfriend made the ditch look purty!

And this one? A soybean field. If anyone ever asks her where she's from, she should be proud to say Iowa!

Signature shot....I make all my seniors try it. Cracks me up when they do!

My favorite shot of the night. See what I mean about throwing her head back when she laughs? It's HER and I love when I get a picture that is REAL.

So, thank you, Ms. Ashley, for allowing me to take your senior pictures. You must never forget: 1) you are beautiful and EXACTLY the way God made you, 2) your smile really does light up a room and 3) Life ain't always easy, but it is always beautiful.

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." ~ Romans 12:2

Alli - Round #2 and a little bit of drama....

2010-07-02T11:39:00.013-05:00

DUDE.

Mosquitoes were THICK last night and I know what you're thinkin'..."DUH {eyeroll}....water + heat = annoying little things that BITE."

Got it. Lesson learned. Won't do that again.

We headed out last night for round 2 with the very best of intentions. Cute outfits, awesome locations, everything we needed to get the job done.

Went to the Rose Garden first. Worked out well, but we had no clue the 5 or 6 mosquitoes we saw were just the appetizer (I mean, WE were the appetizer).

(See mosquito on her cheek next to her hair)....
Headed down over the hill to what I think is called Greenwood Lake? Gorgeous spot. Lots of photogs there doing what we were doing and no one seemed too bothered by the pesky little buggers. (Ha. That's kinda funny...."buggers").

ON A SIDE NOTE....

Professional courtesy as a photographer is to stay out of others shots and WAIT YOUR TURN. Goes without sayin', right?

Apparently I was the only one who knew this rule.

Standing in a cool spot taking pictures of Alli and another photographer and a senior walk by. Other girl says to Alli all excited like, "Getting your senior pictures done, too?!?" Alli - "Yup." The photographer then says to me....NOT.EVEN.KIDDING:

"Ohhhh, you're the moooom?" (heavy sarcasm in her voice)

Ok....that doesn't sound like much, but I'm tellin' ya. SHE MEANT IT NOT SO NICE. How do I know that? The smirk on her face. Like we were just "messin' around" and I wasn't capable of being an actual PHOTOGRAPHER because I was Alli's mom.

AS IF.

Those of you who know me...well, you know if took an act of God for me to not say something snotty back. I just smiled and said, "Yup." Like mother, like daughter. :0)

The other girl then said "OH!! I like what she is doing! Let's do that!" and PROCEEDED TO STEP UP NEXT TO ALLI, in my shot btw, and the other photog started shooting!

AGAIN, AS IF.

Seriously?! Who does that?

We walked away as the other photog was asking me about "how my lighting was" and other banter. Told her I was not having a problem at all. She looked at me with a blank stare. Yeah. I said it. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. ( I sooo wanted to stick out my tongue at her, but I'm too cool for that....sometimes).

Grr....

We then moved on to take these GEMS....

Yeah...and just a few minutes after we left that area, they were doing the same thing. Uh huh. I know. Imitation is the best form of flattery, or something like that, but whatever. :0)

Back to the mosquitoes....

"That's IT! I'm outta here!"

Other random bloopers ('cuz my daughter is a NUT)... :0)

And...the ones that turned out....

I itch just writing this, but it was a successful shoot for the most part even despite the minor setbacks and snotty people. We had FUN and that is all that matters! :0)

Just to clarify....

2010-07-01T09:11:00.003-05:00

....I'm not bi-polar.

My playlist (at the bottom and probably blaring loudly on your computer as you read this if you have your speakers turned up) has been changed slightly.

Song #1: TIME FOR ME TO FLY, REO Speedwagon (awesome, awesome song)...

Song #2: JUST THE WAY YOU ARE, Billy Joel (equally awesome)...

Just want to clarify that I am simply, unequivocally, over the top in love with my husband and my choice of music, while, yes, a bit bi-polar, is just me lovin' some good music and NOT me expressing a weird, up-and-down, love/hate relationship that we don't have. I wanted to put in my playlist "I Got You Babe" by Sonny & Cher but it's not available. Oh, and some Alanis Morrisette "You Oughta Know", but decided better of it, lest you all think I need some crazy pills or somethin'.

Period.

Thank you.

Have a good day.

:0)

Meet Amannda....

2010-06-30T09:12:00.010-05:00

In real estate, the buzz statement is "location, location, location".....

And so it should be in photography!!!

I'm tellin' ya. I've never been to a more beautiful setting than the one I was at for Amannda's senior portrait session last night.

O.M.G....seriously.

It was the home of her great-uncle and wow was it a sight to behold. I was so overwhelmed when I first got there that I had no clue where to even begin! I usually stake out my locations but because this was a private home set far off the road I was totally unprepared.

It worked out, though. :0)

I'm pretty sure wherever we would have gone, Amannda would have been beautiful. This girl is so stinkin' pretty! She made the location and the location made her.

Meet Amannda....(and for the record, I had a HARD time picking out my favs!)....

And huggin' a tree for her grandpa... :0)

Thanks for making my job so easy, Amannda!!!

My baby...Round one

2010-06-29T13:00:00.005-05:00

I attended my 20 year high school class reunion last weekend. I feel like I'm still young, but boy have I changed....and boy how my oldest friends in the world have changed too! Funny how time flies when you're havin' fun....

This post is pretty bitter sweet for me. I've been out of high school for 20 years while my oldest babe is headed into her last year of high school. She has no clue. Life will flash before her eyes and before anyone knows it she will be attending her 20th reunion! Ugh.

When we got back from Cedar Falls, Alli and I went out for round one of her senior portrait session. Lucky her....her mom's a photog so she can go out as many times as she wants! And....if we have as much luck as we did this time out, we will in no way, shape or form be able to decide what to print! My goodness, she is beautiful.

In color....

In black & white....

One of my favs of the day....

Wait....I love this one....

Oh, my...black & white is even better....

Serious pose.... :0)

Just plain cute....

Bein' silly....

Honestly, my favorite shot of the day....

Or wait....this one is my favorite of the day! Ugh!

So, as you can see, round one was a success. Looking forward to capturing every other idea and location and outfit we have!! Don't care what you say, my baby is GORGEOUS!!! She really needs to stop growing up. :0(

Jamey & Matt

2010-06-16T13:33:00.007-05:00

There are photo shoots and there are photo shoots. Some you love to do, some you do because its money. Some you know the people and some you don't. I love photography. I do. But I love it more when it's not a job.

Every once in a while I get one of those photo shoots that every photographer dreams about. The kind where my subject is happy, easy to shoot and a natural model. Even better....I get a couple that is so in love with each other that the end goal is to merely capture them as they are together. Easier said than done, but last night was a dream.

Meet Jamey and Matt. I mentioned them in a earlier post when I booked their wedding (I was sooo excited I could piddle, remember!?). Last night was their engagement session. We toured downtown Des Moines and captured them then headed to the Capitol grounds for more.

My main goal last night was to capture them the way others see them. We all think of ourselves in a different way than others see us. It's sad, really. We'd have a much happier world if we believed about ourselves what other people believe!

Anyway, back to Jamey and Matt. I think I succeeded in my goal. Here are two people who are too cute for words and love each other with something more than just their hearts. They love each other with their souls. Cheesy, I know, but you will see what I mean.

And my new favorite picture....of ALL TIME.

So thank you, Jamey and Matt. For letting me into your world for just a small time. If you keep laughing, keep looking at each other the way you do now, you will have a very successful, happy marriage. I know it.

Counting down the days until October 16th! Woot Woot!

"Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." ~ Ruth 1:16-17 (MY wedding vows....forever etched in my heart and may they forever be etched in yours...)

REMINDERS....

2010-06-15T09:08:00.004-05:00

I love them. Little reminders that pop up to remind you of things you need to do or things that make you smile, etc. I'm a sticky note kind of person. They are everywhere on my desk. To remind me of the upcoming orthodontist appointment for Taylor or this deadline or that deadline or even to send this or that to whoever. You get my point.

REMINDERS.

They are everywhere from God, too, if you just take a look. His reminders to us of who He is and what He has created. Ever watched the way the water rolls over rocks in a small stream? Or the way the inside of a flower has so many details that you would never see if you didn't really look closely? Or the way the leaves on a tree move in the wind....each one slightly different, but the same? And my favorite, the way the sun shines through the clouds. I like to imagine the rays as slides from heaven to be ridden by the angels during play time. Every time I see these rays of sunlight I can't help but smile. They instantly remind me that God is here.

This picture I took in the far corner of my back yard. He was reminding me AGAIN that He has it all under control and to relax and enjoy the ride.

Thank you for the reminder, God. You are just too cool.

Giving it to God, one moment at a time....

2010-06-14T12:25:00.004-05:00

I so long for the days when life was "easy". No one to check with, no one to run things past, no one to worry about. Even as I write that sentence I know in my heart it is not really what I want. I don't want to be alone or have no one to worry about, care about, love on. I want all of those things.

I just wish it didn't have to be so hard sometimes.

I've been all around the blog world over my lunch hour today and have seen one message loud and clear. God is pushing me to let go of my fear....STILL.

I just wish it didn't have to be so hard sometimes.

Being a parent is hard. Marriage is hard. It's in the little things of doing both of those things that I find my greatest joy. And....it's in the little things of doing both of those things that I find my greatest fear.

Letting go.

I have an unrealistic fear (which translates as LACK OF FAITH) of losing the people that I love most in the world. Thoughts of impending doom every time someone leaves my sight. It's quite ridiculous, really, and very exhausting.

I have a crazy need to keep everyone close, within my sight and protect them unreasonably. I know that that is how our children grow and learn and become productive adults. I know they have to experience the sting of making a bad choice or the pain of consequences not fully understood at the time of decision making.

But I know what I know.

I've been there, done that. I have regrets that eat me up sometimes and I don't want our girls to be older wishing they knew then what they know now.

There are some big decisions facing two of our girls today. One will let me in to "help", the other will not. Both need to do this on their own, but it's almost too painful to watch. Being on the brink of adulthood is exciting and the anticipation of making all your "own" decisions and starting your life is so fun.

Being an adult is also not all it's cracked up to be.

So I know what God is pushing me to do. To let go of the things that are not mine to control and RELAX. He's asking me, again, to let Him handle the path while I just be there if questions are asked. He's asking me to pray for each of them....for their hearts, for their minds, for the people who influence them and for their desire to seek Him first.

I just wish it didn't have to be so hard.

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

Jack and Lea Ann

2010-05-24T15:51:00.003-05:00

"Little ditty 'bout Jack and ~~Diane~~ Lea Ann....Two American kids growin' up in the heartland..."

It's true. I sing that song (John Mellencamp 'case you just landed here from another planet) in my head whenever I say "Jack and Lea Ann". I'm weird like that....

Movin' oooonnnn....

Meet my sweet friends Jack (aka Jacky Poo) and his lovey bride to be, Lea Ann. We do church together. We also do life together. I love these two awesome people. God brought them together and it's a pretty cool thing to watch. Amazing how God can just work a buncha junk all out and whats left is two people He made for each other. Just sayin'.

They are getting married in September. Watch out world....Jack will have a WIFE soon (finally)!!! :0)

This is Lea Ann describing what she feels like planning a wedding....I can relate. I can totally relate.

My favorite pic of the day....because they told me that in marriage you have to always come to your partner with your hands open. Not to just receive but to give (what's mine is yours and all that). ANNNDDD....lay it all out there for God to take it and do with it what He will. After all, it's all His anyway. :0)

HAPPY ENGAGEMENT JACK AND LEA ANN!!!

My "Life List"

2010-05-21T10:14:00.004-05:00

A.k.a BUCKET LIST. It's all the rage in the blogger world these days so who am I to not do one myself. After all, I am a follower and such. Actually quite interesting the things I want to do and the things I have done.

Plant a garden that produces edible veggies (edible being the key there) :0) -- Kiss the Barney Stone in Ireland -- ~~Run a Marathon~~ -- Swim with dolphins -- ~~Stand a top the Eiffel Tower~~ -- Watch as my girls cross the stage for their high school, then college diplomas -- ~~Take our girls to both Disney Land AND Disney World~~ -- Cook a gourmet Thanksgiving dinner for our entire family -- Skinny Dip -- Turn my photography business into a full-time gig -- Earn a salary of $100k and give half of it away to my church each year -- Shoot a wedding -- Learn to french braid (again) -- Helicopter over the most beautiful waterfall in the world -- Photograph my husband in front of the Pyramids on a camel -- Drink a beer (or ten) on the beach of the Florida Keys -- HAVE A REAL HONEYMOON WITH MY HUSBAND -- Send flowers to all the people I love on the same day at the same time to thank them for loving me back -- Snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef -- Purchase the coolest, bad assest lens on the market so I can shoot killer actions shots in low light and high speeds -- ~~Marry the greatest man on earth~~ -- Be the best mom and step-mom I can be -- Walk on a real, live glacier -- ~~Parasail in the Bahamas~~ -- ~~Tandem parasail with my oldest daughter in Virginia Beach~~ -- Tour Israel and walk where Jesus walked -- Share my testimony with a very large audience -- Truly forgive the two people who hurt me most in my lifetime -- Sit inside the Sistine Chapel and tour Vatican City -- Refresh my French speaking skills ("J'ai voudrais un coca, s'il vous plait" can only get one so far...)-- LOVE LIKE I'VE NEVER BEEN HURT -- Take a trip for one week, just my little brother and I -- Get a massage with my husband at a high end spa in a luxury resort -- Go on a mission trip Africa and meet our World Vision son -- Hang with my niece and nephews for more than just a few hours once a year -- Grill out steaks as much as possible -- Learn to salsa dance (and be good at it) -- Go on an African safari with my family -- Shoot a gun at a shooting range -- Meet Vince Vaughn -- Lay on my death bed at the end of my life with NO REGRETS.....

My list is still a work in progress, but I know most of this is totally do-able. And if I accomplish nothing else in this world, I've succeeded because JC is my BFF. Just sayin'....

If horses were wishes....

2010-05-18T10:21:00.003-05:00

I love the title of this post. I learned the other day that it's an old English nursery rhyme that basically means it's useless to wish.

Amen to that.

If I could wish...

I'd wish....for the day when things don't seem so hectic and crazy. We'd stop running in 8 different directions and instead relax and enjoy the journey God has us on....
I'd wish....for a plate that is not so large and overflowing. Too many things to juggle...and handle...and worry about...and wonder why...and on and on. My sweet husband says God gave us all of this stuff right now, in this time, because WE can handle it. And we can....I just wish...it wasn't so much.
I'd wish....for a cold, diet wild cherry pepsi and a glass of ice to always be at my beck and call. Seriously. This stuff is GOOD (might even go so far as to say it's my new fav...)
I'd wish....to hear the words "HEALED" for friends and family. And I don't just mean healed. I mean healed....physically, mentally and most of all spiritually. I'd wish for no more lost souls and restoration for the weary, because I've been there and I know that feeling of being lost, lonely and afraid. My heart breaks just thinking about the pain in this world on so many levels. Breast cancer, COPD, divorce, hurt from the rejection of an unworthy parent, on and on. God has a plan for it all and clinging to that is the only thing that keeps me from losing it. GOD HAS A PLAN and there is NOTHING that He cannot do.
I'd wish....for us to just be a family. Not "step". Not "blended". Just family. We are getting there, it's so hard though. BUT....I'd soooo do it all over again. I'd marry HIM again and again and again. *sigh*

I decided that since wishing does me absolutely no good, today (and everyday) I'm praying. For God to do what He does and be where He is. For God to just keep walking beside me and reminding me that He is there. It's all I need and all I can ask for. Your will be done, not mine, sweet God. And thank you....for diet wild cherry pepsi. :0)

Senior rep photo shoot....

2010-05-18T09:33:00.002-05:00

Crystal....

Karlee....

Rachel....

I have a 2011 Senior Rep Program in the works. It's gonna be great (not a new concept by any means, but new to me!). I have 7 girls from 4 different schools participating. Basically they represent Out of the Ashes Photography and refer their friends in exchange for my doing their senior portrait session for no charge. For every booked referral they earn credit on prints. Simple, really, and I'm excited. Above is the last three girls. All are gorgeous and I'm so excited about all 7 of them!!! I'm itchin' to get out there and start doing the shoots, but they all wanna wait until they are "tan and gorgeous"! Really? Give me a break. Gorgeous, girls.....you are already there!!! :0)

Thank you God for what you are building in me, around me and for me. Amen and AMEN.

Oh, my heart, my soul....

2010-04-30T11:10:00.003-05:00

How I needed to hear this today (scroll down and turn off my blog music before you play it). Thanks to MckMama for posting this of her precious son and how he has changed (and softened) my heart right this very second....and forever. If it's possible to wear a video out, I've alsolutely done so already. To have the faith and conviction of a three year old.....sigh.

My God Is So Big from Jennifer McKinney on Vimeo.

Go read this....

2010-04-27T14:21:00.002-05:00

"A Letter From God" by Gordon Atkinson at High Calling Blogs. LOVE.IT.TO.PIECES.

http://highcallingblogs.com/7583/a-letter-from-god/

Big time actor in a small time production....

2010-04-20T09:01:00.003-05:00

I'm a snooze hitter. Not once, not twice and not even three times usually. I hit it upwards of 8 times...every morning. My husband on the other hand? He could get up on the first ring....old Army guy, ya know.

It's during that "half asleep, half awake" stage that I usually have my best thoughts and brightest ideas. It's also the clearest time of day for me personally to hear God.

Lights off. Warm under the covers. Not fully aware of what I need to be doing and still not yet in high gear to start the day.

This morning was no exception.

God clearly said to me this morning, "Why do you treat me like a big time actor in your small time production? Why do you think that I'm too big, too famous, too anything to show up for you? You've booked me. I said I'd come. Why, then, do you not believe that I will? And, by the way, who said your production is small time anyway? I didn't."

I nearly sat straight up. Rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked around. It was a bit shocking and a bit hard to believe. I laid back down and thought about what He'd just said to me.

Mark and I are reading the book of Jeremiah together every night before we go to sleep. We just started it and the first few chapters are God pretty angry with His people for idolizing other gods and acting as if He was doing things wrong. Acting as if He wasn't there....

And God was right. I do treat Him as if He is too big for me, too big to care about what I have going on in my little "small time production". I struggle with His ability to see me or care about me on a daily basis. I KNOW that to be false but yet that's where the fat bastard has his biggest stronghold.

Mark and I are also reading a nightly devotional and last night was the difference between faith and trust. I have FAITH in God....I know who He is, I know He is there. But, trust? That I don't have....not enough, anyway. The example in the devotional was a wheel barrel and a tightrope across the Niagara Falls. I have faith that God could walk that tightrope and push the wheel barrel across with no problem. But....would I climb in that wheel barrel and let Him push me across the falls on that tightrope? Gulp. I don't think so.

And I believe that was God's point. I have faith in Him, I just don't trust Him enough to do what He says He will do.

Now what? I don't know the answer to that question or how to even begin to believe. He's worked in my life....seen it first hand on numerous occasions, but yet I still doubt.

So I will take today, right now, right this second as it comes and I will remind myself that HE IS HERE. He already showed up. He said He'd come and He did. That's all I can do and that's all I can ask of Him.

Amen and amen.

Prom 2010....

2010-04-19T13:56:00.007-05:00

I see these pictures and not only do I flash back to when I was in high school and attending my prom, but I flash back to when Alli was just a baby. She used to sleep on my chest all night long on the couch because I was afraid to put her down. SIDS was huge in the early '90's and I was a worry wart momma (still am...not afraid to admit that!).

What a beautiful girl I have. She's 17 (and a half!), the world at her feet, the heart of a angel and just too stinkin' cute for her own good. I'm proud of her. So much so my heart aches.

Alli & Taylor....two peas in a pod....

Alli & Stephy....sweet, sweet girls....

They rented a Hummer limo (behind them). At my prom, I GOT to ride in my boyfriend's sisters navy blue PINTO. I know....these kids have NO idea what a real ride is. :0)

Stephy....

Alli & Nick

Arriving at the dance....

The sign that Mark and I hung....twice. Don't ask....

My babe....

And in a blink of an eye....they are all grown up with one foot out of the house. *sigh*

Doing God's work....

2010-04-12T09:14:00.003-05:00

CAUTION: DOING GOD'S WORK WILL CHANGE YOUR HEART....

So our church has a "Spring Clean" campaign currently in the works. Basically its a way for our church to get out and bless those in our community with spring cleaning types of chores. Families can also volunteer to clean up our own church building and/or church grounds. My family chose to clean at our church. It's a huge building with a large parking lot and to be quite honest, sometimes in an effort to help others, we forget to help "ourselves". Not being selfish or anything, but often times people are so gung ho to get out in the community that they fail to see how they can be a blessing at home....just be the blessing where the blessing is needed. Know what I mean?

This past Saturday Mark and I and the girls spent the afternoon cleaning up the parking lot of our church and digging the landscaping rocks out of the grass from the snow plows this winter. I have to say, the amount of sand used this winter to keep our parking lot clean was amazing! And OMG...we probably hauled 8 tons of landscape rocks back to where they belong. (OK...maybe not 8 ton, but a LOT of rocks were moved! I'm just sayin'!)

While picking up those rocks, we laughed and joked and seriously enjoyed our work and that time together as a family. Our backs were sore and our hands were hurting, but doing God's work isn't always glamorious or easy. It changes you, though. Honest.

Taylor found a cool, heart-shaped rock. Carli had dirty hands. This is the combination of the two....

Our God is just so good. He can change even the hardest of hearts if you are willing to dig in and do a little work.

I'm so excited I could piddle....

2010-04-07T13:44:00.005-05:00

Yes...I said piddle. I'm so excited I could piddle.

WOOT WOOT!

As many of my faithful readers {cough -- one reader} know, I am a photographer. I fair weather photographer, but a photographer nonetheless. I don't have a studio of my own....borrow one when I absolutely must have one, but for the most part....I like NATURAL LIGHT.

And this, my friends, is the beginning of my busy season. Oh how I've missed my camera so.

I've spent the winter months trying to ~~fumble through~~ figure out my marketing strategy. I am not a marketing genius, but I think I've done alright with it.

And then today....I booked my very first....wedding.

{insert piddling!!}

I've done engagements....see here for the cutest couple EVER. I have another engagement shoot booked at the end of this month, actually. But a wedding....the happiest day of any bride's life. The day when all things change and the day when a couple professes who they are in each other before family and friends. And....a day for anything and everything to go wrong.

But I'm not even gonna entertain that idea. GOD has given me the talent. He has given me this couple. I will do Him proud and I will capture the love that Jamey and Matt have....even if I die trying.

Today is a good day. I seriously am so excited I could piddle.

Good just ain't good enough....

2010-04-02T10:39:00.004-05:00

It's GOOD Friday.

And good just ain't GOOD enough.

So I'm changin' the name. Yup. You heard it here, folks. GOOD Friday is now called GLORIOUS Friday. Go ahead....pass it on.

I know you probably think I'm goofy, but dang it. Today is a GLORIOUS day. Do you know why? 'Cuz Jesus died today! Not glorious that He DIED for my crazy sins, but glorious because HE died for my crazy sins. See what I mean? Clear as a bell. :0)

I am RIGHT WITH GOD because He took all that off of me. I am RIGHT WITH GOD because He suffered so that I don't have to. I am RIGHT WITH GOD because it was HIS blood that was shed when it should have been mine. I am RIGHT WITH GOD because He sacrificed His Son so that I could have eternal life.

And I'm callin' all that GLORIOUS.

Sunday is comin'.....He rose from the dead and proved once and for all who He is and why He came. This Holy weekend reminds me of the sacrifice He made that makes me RIGHT WITH GOD. If you don't know Jesus as your Lord and Savior, I urge you to seek Him out. He is there waiting...all you have to do is ask Him in. Don't waste another minute of your life thinking today is just another Friday and Sunday is just another Sunday because TRUST ME....they aren't.

Happy GLORIOUS Friday, peeps. Our God is soooo.....GLORIOUS.

7 months ago today....

2010-03-29T08:30:00.003-05:00

Seven months ago today, I woke up a single lady {"ALLL the single ladies, now put yo' hands UP!" - Sorry....I was channelin' some Beyonce. :0) }....

Seven months ago today, I ended my day a married woman....and have not been the same since.

It really is true, y'all. When you let God handle things and allow Him to direct your steps, He really, truly does bring you more blessing than you could ever possibly imagine. Ever. Sometimes it's huge things that are different and better and sometimes it is the tiniest, little gesture or comment made that makes me realize God really did show up and brought me the man I needed, the man I deserved and the man He made for me. *sigh*

To my adorable husband,

THANK YOU for being everything I ever dreamed of and so much more. Eventually we won't mark these little anniversaries, but I will always, every single day, thank God for you and for your heart. You have healed me in places that I never thought would heal. I know that God actually did the healing, but He did it through you. You make my heart swell...so much so sometimes that it makes my chest hurt. I finally see that there is no other "shoe" and I no longer expect it to fall. You are exactly who you say you are....not perfect, but perfect for me. Thank you for the best 7 months of my life to date and for the anticipation of the next 70+ years. With you, I am strong. With God, together we are unstoppable.

I love you from the tip of my toes to eternity. I love you more today than yesterday and can only imagine how much I will love you tomorrow. XOXOXOXO.....

Love,

To my AWESOME God,

THANK YOU, LORD, FOR MY HUSBAND. Please keep him safe, give him your wisdom and understanding for each step that he takes. Here we are, Lord. Send us to show the world what you can do when two people follow You and seek You in all things.

Amen and Amen.

Love,

How can that be?

2010-03-25T14:56:00.003-05:00

How can you be great at something, but then be so terribly, horrible at it all at the same time?

I don't know how that can possibly be the truth, but it is.

I can't really tell you what I'm great at and horrible at all at the same time, because it's just something I can't share right now. All I can really say is that it is a result of envy. Green, ugly envy. And I can tell you that it stinks. I wear it like a prized, expensive, beautiful leather coat....thinking it looks so good on me and I'm entitled to it because of all I've been through, but if I looked in the mirror....God's mirror....it would make me look fat and homeless, this ratted old coat of envy. Dirty, ugly and miserable.

And that's what sucks the most. The fact that I KNOW better. The fact that I KNOW what it is and can name it. I just don't WANT to.

I have so much to say, so much that NEEDS said, but I can't find the words. I'M THE ADULT! I need to act like one, but for cryin' out loud, I can't seem to do it. I'm just so full of contradictions and confusion over this mess. I fight with myself on a regular basis because my thoughts go 8,000 miles an hour and I can talk myself in and out of the truth about the situation and the right thing to do on a fairly regular basis. It ain't pretty....and it's stinkin' exhausting.

So instead of dealing with my "great/horrible-ness" I've turned it off. Not dealing with it. Put up a wall and pretend like nothing is up....and festering in anger and resentment at the same time. Have I given this to Jesus, put it at the foot of the Cross, you ask? Only about 75 times...TODAY. I just keep picking it back up and carrying it around like I'd die without it. I won't, though. I'd actually LIVE if I let it go.

I'll shed this nasty coat of envy soon and when I do I'll share the great lesson I'm positive God is trying to teach me.

But until then, it's keeping me warm.

An Irish Prayer for you today....

2010-03-17T09:06:00.002-05:00

An Irish Prayer
May God give you...
For every storm, a rainbow,
For every tear, a smile,
For every care, a promise,
And a blessing in each trial.
For every problem life sends,
A faithful friend to share,
For every sigh, a sweet song,
And an answer for each prayer.

I've got some Irish in me....not sure how much exactly, but on this day, don't you think we all are a little Irish wanna-be?

Aye, mo charas.

So Happy St. Paddy's Day to you all....and may God hold you in the palm 0f His hand today and everyday.

Why we are here....

2010-03-16T09:43:00.002-05:00

Turn down the music on my blog (at the bottom of this page) and watch our "Why we are here" video that will be played at our Leukemia and Lymphoma Society fundraiser in April. Good stuff.

Desert Song ~ TURN IT UP

2010-03-12T09:19:00.005-06:00

TODAY...this song (playing on my blog as you read this) is speaking directly to my heart. I need to add it to my MP3 player and listen to it non-stop. I need the constant reminder that HE IS HERE and no weapon formed against me shall remain. I need to hear that.
~~~~~~~~~~
This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am conqueror and co- heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life in every season
You are still God,
I have a reason to sing,
I have a reason to worship

I will bring praise, I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice, I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I received I will sow
~~~~~~~~~~

Thank God for His healing. Thank God for His love. Thank God for His peace and understanding. Thank God for His forgiveness. Thank God for HIM.....and THANK GOD for people who know Him and see with His eyes and touch with His hands.

Amen and amen.

A special friend...

2010-03-04T09:46:00.007-06:00

I have a very special friend. I've never shaken her hand, looked her in the eye or heard her laugh because I've never met her in person....but she is a gift from God every single time we "talk".

I won't share her story here because it's only hers to tell. I will, however, share with you what this lady has done for me in the nearly two years we have been communicating via blogs and email. {almost two years already? Oh my....the older I get the faster time flies!}

Meet my sweet friend Gwenn. She lives a half a country away from me and we met through The Christian Woman blog where we both contribute our hearts. Funny thing is....we both post occasionally, but when we do, it's usually within a few days of each other. Yep...She's my soul sista.

Maybe it's easier to be friends with someone you have never met. I say that because maybe you can say things that need said without fear of running into that person in the grocery store line...especially if what you said might have hit a nerve.

Gwenn did that for me once. No, she did not hurt my feelings, but she did hit a nerve and said what God had been trying to telling me for a long time. He just used her to get it through my thick skull finally...and I so love her for it.

"Maybe you should stop trying to force a square peg in a round hole....that round peg just might be right around the corner," she said. Might not mean much to you, but knocked me over the head, stumbled me back a few steps, opened my heart and stopped me in my tracks. IN THAT ORDER.

She was right. Her words rattled around in my head and heart for quite some time. Her words, sent by God, changed my life for the better. I let go of that square peg and I'll be darned if she wasn't right....that round peg was seriously right around the corner.

Won't you please stop right this second and pray for my friend Gwenn? She needs prayers....to stay strong and not give up. To love the way God is asking her to love and to keep on the path He has made for her. He is restoring her in ways she cannot yet see, but it will be so worth all the effort. I love her and so does God. Pray for her, please.

Gwenn: THANK YOU for being the most faithfilled woman I've never met. THANK YOU for modeling for me how to never give up and follow God's lead. THANK YOU for speaking the truth to me {though I'm sure you would speak it even if we did run into each other in the grocery store line}, for listening to me when I whine and laughing with me and praying for me and on and on. You are truly a blessing to everyone around you....and those of us 3,000 miles away. May God bless you with all you deserve and so much more. May your heart be filled to overflow once again and may you remember always to be who you are.

"Life is partly what we make it and partly what it is made by the friends we choose" ~ Tennessee Williams

Love letters....

2010-03-02T09:54:00.002-06:00

Very cool video....turn off the music at the bottom of my blog and watch this. You will be glad you did.

Boy, am I human....

2010-02-26T15:21:00.002-06:00

Never before has it been quite so obvious that I am a flawed human being. Made in the perfect image of God, but not perfect by any means. I'm not being too hard on myself, honest. Just a wake up call that I am not all that and a bag of chips most days. {Not that I think I am, just sayin'}

God showed up...again.

My need to control and understand ten steps ahead of me is a huge thorn in my side. Why can't I relax and go with the flow? It's my spiritual gift to get my panties in a bunch, I ~~honestly~~ jokingly say. My uncanny ability to see things in the way people talk, react and behave can and DOES get me into trouble. It's weird. I'm pretty good at reading people who are upset, feeling left out or hurt, but I have no clue when my mouth is moving that I am making someone that way. It's also my spiritual gift to open mouth, insert foot.

I said to God this morning {after two long days} that I just don't understand men. I am fairly confident God laughed about that because I was immediately reminded that HE is a MAN. I know, ladies, I know.

I love, love, love, love, love my husband. He is a man...a real man like I've never known before, but a man none the less. He doesn't pick up on the unspoken words us girlies speak when we are upset, in need, hurt or otherwise. He does, on the other hand, want to know {which puts him 800 heads above most men in my book}. He just can't know without being told because that's how God made him. As necessary as it is, it's hard to tell a man what you feel and how you hurt. We want our man to KNOW....to look in our eyes and FEEL it or to be so in tune to who we are that no words need be spoken. That's ridiculous and truly unfair to him...not to mention too trashy romance novel for words!

So I'm learning. I'm learning to say what needs said while remembering that just because I can, it doesn't always mean that I should.

Boy, am I human.

Blinders

2010-02-19T14:32:00.003-06:00

I've been so busy lately I've hardly been able to tell my head from my rear. Seems like there is never enough time in the day to get everything that needs done DONE.

Can I get a witness?!

I had a convo with God the other day about how to get it all done and how to prioritize, what to cut out, what to keep. I'm truly wearing myself out just thinking about it right now. The word that kept coming up through that convo was "blinders".

At the time I was thinking it was just my mind wandering {It does that, ya know}. I went on about my business that day but the word keeps circling back around in my thoughts.

Blinders.

What does that even mean? I have no real idea. Other than the picture I get in my head is of a horse with her "blinders" on meant to keep her from getting distracted. Horse owners use them to keep the horse from seeing things and getting spooked or distracted. {I think....I don't own a horse, only been near one a few times...so yeah. I'm a warehouse of knowledge on this subject and you should totally take me as an authority here}.

But if I'm right and that's the case, then what is God telling me about blinders?

Maybe He wants me to wear them? I have to admit that I am NOT fashion forward enough to literally strap them on my head and wear them.

If I were to put on a ~~pair,~~ ~~a set~~ ...wait...a pair {whatever} of blinders, what am I to be blocking out? The distractions of this world are immense. There are sooo many things that can get me off course, make me lose my focus. Kids, husband, job, house cleaning, working out, fundraising, THE STINKIN' OLYMPICS {OMG-ish....don't even get me started on watching them on tv! They can literally suck hours of my time into oblivion!}. That's all life, though....life CAN get in the way of the to do list.

BUT....WAIT.....

What if God is telling me about the blinders I have keeping HIM out? Maybe He is telling me to take OFF my blinders and let HIM into my world more. Or better yet, keep them on but tune my newly focused vision on Him instead of everything else.

Yeah....I think that's it. Focus on HIM, not my list.

The bible says in Proverbs 4:25: "Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you." There it is...stop looking around, getting distracted and keep our eyes focused on GOOD things and RIGHT things and HIS promises. I know...easier said than done!

I find myself too busy to pray everyday. I find myself too busy to get in my bible as much as I should. I find myself gossiping or saying things that I know are not pleasing to Him. I bet {if I was the bettin' type, which I'm not} that if I actually put my time with Him first, I'd have the energy to get things done. I bet I'd get the right things done first....the things that matter checked off the list daily. I also bet I'd not be writing this post right now.

So....now what? I think I'll stop at the horse supply store on my way home {yes....I drive right by one} and pick up some serious blinders. Maybe literally wearing them will do the trick. You should be seeing me on the cover of Vogue in March....wearing blinders will be the next fashion accessory on the market. Either that....or I'll be on the next episode of "What Not to Wear"! :0}

Won't you please?

2010-01-22T09:24:00.006-06:00

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ia/rnr10/bramseyruc

Click on the link above....it will take you to my personal Team in Training website.

I've done it again. I'm going all in and doing another event for The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I will be running in the San Diego Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon on June 6, 2010. As part of that commitment to run that race, I need to raise $3,900 for the Society. I ran the 2005 Honolulu Marathon and the 2007 Nashville Country Music Marathon....doing a half marathon will be a piece of cake (someone please remind me of that on race day)! I can and WILL succeed in this goal!

BUT I need your help.

Give $5, $10, $100....whatever you can. Your donation is tax-deductible and a huge percentage of it goes directly to research to help find a cure for blood cancers.

THANK YOU....from the bottom of my heart to the tip of my running shoes....FOR YOUR SUPPORT!

P.S. If you or anyone you know is a survivor of a blood cancer or is currently enduring the battle, PLEASE let me know. I'd like to make a list of everyone who is or has gone through the battle...I'll carry that list with me during the race and every step will honor them and their COURAGE.

"I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHENS ME!" ~ Philippians 4:13

My prayer for 2010....

2009-12-31T08:25:00.002-06:00

Wow....what a year. 2009 has been the best year so far. All kinds of wonderful things happened. All kinds of growing and rethinking also happened. My highlight of 2009, though? Marrying the very best man on the face of the earth. I know. I'm a little biased, but that's ok. You'd all think he was the best if you knew him too. :0)

So....as I have been mulling over my prayer for 2010 the last few weeks God has given me two pieces of wisdom to think about as I write this:

1) In HIS hands, little becomes much; and
2) To thine own self be true....

Something else I heard this week: "To get what you've never had, you MUST do what you've never done." ~ Pastor Steve Furtick, Elevation Church. Ohhhh....I love that!

So, without further delay....my prayer for 2010:

Father,

THANK YOU....for all that You've done, for all that You're doing, for all that You will do. Thank You for 2009....for all the blessings, the heartache, the laughter and the tears. With each and every experience I've grown in You. I've learned that You are here no matter what. I've learned that You listen to my prayer....You may not always answer, but You do always hear me. I've learned that Your plans are good and true and always the best. I've learned that You want whats best for me...even if I don't know what that is or think that it's not. I've grown in my heart, my soul and in my thoughts.

I've held on to the things that are precious to me. I've let go of the things that continue to hurt me. I've seen Your face in my tears and heard Your voice in my laughter. I pray, Father, that You continue to guide my steps, that I continue to seek You first and that even when I fall I remember that You are there beside me.

I'm thankful for my husband....the gift that YOU gave to me. I'm so very grateful for his heart, his wonderful wisdom and his desire to follow You with every step. I pray that you continue to bless us, lead us and be there as we work through life together. In the happy times I wish to praise You for our marriage. In the not so happy times I praise You even more for the lessons we are learning and the closeness that only trials can bring. I pray that we continue to put each other only second to You.

Thank You for our girls. Thank You for giving each of them to us to treasure, lead, love, laugh with and show them how to lead healthy, productive lives. I pray hard, Father, that You watch over each of them as they grow into the person You have created them to be. Keep your strong, loving arms around them....protecting them from hurt, harm and heartache as they leave our home to spend time with boys and their friends. **Sigh**

I pray that 2010 brings prosperity in our lives. In Your hands, little becomes much. I pray that we remember to thank You daily for Your provision. As we continue to be prudent with the provision You provide, I pray that Your will be done and that the blessings You give to us be passed on to others in need. I pray that others see Your light shine through us.....however that happens, whatever needs done, USE us to share Your love with the unloved. We are ready, willing and able to be Your hands and feet. Here we are, Lord, send us.

Thank You for reminding me time and time again that my story is no longer my shame. I pray that You continue to remind me that the only opinion of me that matters is YOURS. In 2010 and beyond I will be true to myself. Others may come and go, but You are always there...never leaving me nor forsaking me. Letting go of all the hurt from my past has freed me to finally see the purpose of it all. Thank You for being exactly who You say You are...my one true Father.

And finally, thank You in advance for knowing the mistakes I will make in 2010 and loving me right through them. 2010 is going to be the BEST YEAR EVER.....and if it's not? May You show us the lessons You want us to learn.

In Jesus' precious name I pray,
Amen and AMEN.

The best man ever....

2009-12-02T11:18:00.002-06:00

Today is the anniversary of the day the very best man I've ever known was brought into the world. At 5:45 a.m. on Friday, December 2, 1966, Mark Anthony Ramsey was born.

He is the second greatest man, in my opinion, to ever walk this earth (Jesus being first, of course).

I'M JUST SAYIN'....

The love of my life. The answer to my craziest prayer. The owner of my heart forever. The best friend I've ever had. The only person to make me laugh so hard I've nearly peed a little. He is a true, real man.

I'M JUST SAYIN'....

I'm pretty sure you haven't met him, but those who have...well...they are better for knowing him. Better for meeting him, better for shaking his hand. Better for talking to him, better for hearing his voice. Honest. Ask anyone who knows him.

He is exactly who God made him to be....not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but PERFECT for me.

I'M JUST SAYIN'....

So....HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my husband. I thank God for you every single day....sometimes over and over again. You make me laugh, you've made me cry. You make me happy and you are truly my better half. I pray that God will allow me to celebrate your birthday with you for another 43++ years.

I love ya, babe.

Softer....

2009-11-12T09:05:00.005-06:00

I'm getting softer.

I know. It's hard to believe, but I am. Just trust me on this.

Mark & I lead a small group. NOT something that I am very comfortable with, but I signed us up anyway. I did it knowing that he would be fully on board. Didn't even ask him first....really just "told" him that we are not only going to be in a small group but lead it in our home.

Yeah.....You don't know me.

THAT is sooooo not me. I have a 15 foot rule. No one gets near me unless I ask first. It's just part of who I am have been....until now.

Last night we completed week six of eight of Rick Warren's "Life's Healing Choices" in a tag team with our Sunday services at church. The study is not really what I expected but it's obviously what I needed.

Obviously {eye roll}....

So the "softer me" part: It FINALLY dawned on me this morning ('cuz I'm painfully slow at times) that our small group is, well....awesome. Not because it's at our house or because we got to pick the night and time or because of the yummy treats (they are a plus, though, let me tell ya), but awesome because of the people who attend. Awesome because God shows up every week right on time. He's never late....almost as if He walks in with each and every person as they walk in the front door ready to sit, eat yummies, talk about life and LISTEN. He's a "special" (and required) member of every small group, but it humbles me to realize that He wants to be a part of ours too.

If no one else gets anything out of our group it will be a resounding success. Why would I make such a bold statement, you ask? Because I got something out of it. I know it's not all about me. I believe with all my heart, though, that God put our group together for many reasons....and one was to soften me up a bit.

And, boy, did I need some softening....

He gave me this statement this morning...and I heard Him very loud and clear.

LIFE TOGETHER IS HARD, BUT IT'S SO MUCH BETTER THAN LIFE ALONE.

Amen and Amen.

To my small group partners:

Thank you. For showing up. For coming back. For sharing your lives with us. For being who you are. For letting God work on your hearts and understanding how God is working on mine too. You have no idea how each of you has helped God soften me up. Just know that He has and with your help.

Life together is hard, but it's so much better than life alone.

Circle....

2009-11-02T12:00:00.003-06:00

You have to watch this....you just do. Christ-Life Solutions is a ministry that literally saved me. I know, I know....GOD did that....but He used Christ-Life to do it. It's a ministry where you work through your childhood being an adult ally to yourself. Sounds hokey but it really isn't. It's working through the years of your childhood, working out the lies that you believe and replacing those old, incorrect paradigms with new, correct, God-directed ones. It was an exhausting year and a half of working through some issues, but in the end it was the best time I've ever spent on me. I still have junk....who doesn't, but my junk is far less than it was. Just trust me on that.

Christ-Life Solutions sends out devotional emails and this is the one I got today. SPOKE. RIGHT. TO. ME. God is teaching me a lesson on what I let in and how I let it affect me. Been one of those weekends where He was right there guiding my words and my actions. I made mistakes, yes, but I also followed His lead and am so much better for it.

Watch this video....What are you downloading into your circle?

GOD IS SO GOOD....ALLLL THE TIME! :0}

Stoppin' long enough to take a breath....

2009-10-16T09:41:00.016-05:00

WOW. What a month. God sure has opened doors and I am hanging on for dear life as He takes me on this journey. Here is a recap of my last month....in pictures of course. :0)

First, Car had a soccer tournament (plus another 800+ games since then...just kidding. It just feels like 800). Turns out she's becoming quite a soccer player. So fun to watch and she's really a natural.

Then I took my girls to a beautiful rose garden at the art center to get some "school pictures" ('cuz....remember....I'm cheap and If I'm gonna buy a picture it can't be the same old posed shot. I know. I'm weird like that). It was fun....and I really don't care what you think....my girls could be SUPER MODELS. I'm totally just sayin'.

Alli ~ Age 17....

Sarah ~ Age 15....

Taylor ~ Age 11....

Carli ~ Age 9....

Mark's baby sister Makaela ~ Age 9

BTW ~ We have a lot of fun on shoots. Catching someone laughing or being themselves is my number one goal.

After school pics of my own kiddos, I took senior pictures for an amazing, creative, funny, sweet and talented girl named Jennifer. I sooooo totally love her red hair....

Then came Steven. My first "guy" senior. For whatever reason I get the girls and not many guys. BUT....Steven was the first and now they are knocking down my door. Ok....not literally, but I do have a few more scheduled! :0)

After Steven came Drew...another guy and a REFERRAL to boot! WHOO HOO for "cheerleader" customers! Working on how to reward customers who give referrals....that's not the fun part of this biz, but it's something I've got to figure out. Drew is a senior offensive lineman. Big kid who's mom said he was grumpy the day I came over. Their land is gorgeous and Drew turned out to be a great kid and a genuinely nice guy. THANKS FOR THE REFERRAL DEB!!! You da best, baby!

WHEW.

I'm exhausted just putting all that together! In the midst of all of this work, I ran my "regular" life too (you know....on top of my supergirl life)....wife, mom, full time job, running a business, soccer games, soccer practices, homework, sleep (not enough btw), hosting a small group of 12 and on and on. I am NOT complaining. I will miss my camera this winter since I don't have/want a studio and things slow down a lot so the work now is very much appreciated. I have in the next three weeks 4 more seniors and 3 families booked. And as long as the weather holds up, I'll keep booking them.

Thank you, God, for your constant provision and leading the way. Your path clearing is exhausting, but the results of hanging on to You for dear life are well worth it.

Mullen family video

2009-09-23T07:43:00.003-05:00

Check this out. Pastor Jeff created this with the photos from the shoot Saturday. It's awesome. Wish I had time to do this with all my photo shoots!!! (Be sure to turn down the volume at the bottom of my post so you can hear the music in the video).

Enjoy!

If only....

2009-09-22T16:24:00.002-05:00

...I had been this stinkin' cute when I was a high school senior!! :0) Meet Cassie. Gorgeous girl with a huge college softball career ahead of her. What a cool kid. Just getting started editing the photos and could not wait to share my favs so far. I have to say that little kids and high school seniors are my favorite to shoot these days. So much potential for their futures. Just a look in their eyes and you can see all that God intended for them...if you look really close. More to come of this beautiful girl!!

The two things I know....

2009-09-21T15:54:00.004-05:00

There are only two things I know for absolutely certain....

1) God is good ALL the time; and

2) When something is right, its RIGHT.

Below are photos from one of two shoots I did Saturday. Meet my pastor and his family.

They, well, they are just RIGHT.

More to come of the other shoot I did and my favs from The Winker too! :0)

The Winker....

2009-09-14T11:04:00.003-05:00

O.M.G. I got to take photos of T.H.E. cutest boys around on Saturday. The youngest, at the ripe ole' age of four, just won my heart with his unsolicited winking. **sigh**

To all the pretty girls at his preschool....WATCH OUT!!! This little guy is a heartbreaker with a capital H! :0)

More favs to come!

It occurred to me....

2009-09-09T10:43:00.003-05:00

In a rather low-key way, it occurred to me that God really does know what He's doing.

I know. That sounds so silly, but really. He DOES.

In reflecting back over the last three years I can name many things I've asked God for over and over again. ad nauseam. Financial stability, job security, a good man, the girls to grow up happy and successful, direction on my business and on and on.

I've beat my head against the wall feeling like He wasn't there. Like He wasn't listening. Like He didn't care.

It's in the reflection of the last three years that I truly see His work. I see how when I lost a great job, HE provided. I see how when my account was below zero, HE provided. I see how when a bad relationship tore my self-esteem to shreds, HE spoke to me in love. I see how when my girls had choices to make and faced hurtful things, HE spoke to them in love. I see how when I was ready to quit trying to start a business, HE pushed me on.

He knew what He was doing.

It's frustrating more often than not to have to wait and see where God is sending me. I have a feeling you are like me.....I'll go through ANYTHING if I just know the outcome. And that's not possible....only God knows.

I've learned so much and some days struggle to fully grasp how far I've come. A sinner saved by grace. I wish everyday I could think as clearly as I am today, but I know that the fog that falls over my eyes is only temporary. I can lift that fog if I just keep reflecting while moving forward towards God's next goal for me.

I pray that you, too, can look back and see how God has worked in your life. He's there. You just gotta look.

Day 10....

2009-09-08T09:17:00.005-05:00

I have been married for 10 days. 10 wonderful, glorious days.

We didn't go on a honeymoon (unless you call taking the girls to Adventureland because we had free tickets only good for the day after the wedding a honeymoon). We didn't live together before we were married either.

So the last 10 days have been spent packing and preparing for the big move. I know....most people would NOT consider all that "glorious", but ~~I'm~~ we're not most people.

My husband is the greatest man I know.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm goo goo eyed, over the moon in love with him. Which I totally am, by the way.

He's the greatest man I know because through all the craziness of packing, moving, his being in limbo for nearly a week and finally getting in, unpacking, arranging, sorting and making sure his daughter has what she needs and is comfortable, he SMILED, LAUGHED and proved to me that marrying him was the VERY best decision of my entire life.

So, Marky. THANK YOU for the past 8 1/2 months. THANK YOU for for being the man that God created you to be. THANK YOU for loving me when I'm ridiculously crazed and my brain is on overload. THANK YOU for being my husband. I pray over you every night while you sleep and THANK GOD for the gift of YOU.

Here's to the next 50 years, baby....

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Preview....

2009-09-01T14:53:00.001-05:00

Sigh....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUG!!!

2009-08-20T11:13:00.005-05:00

Taylor is 11....going on 30....today.

We made eggrolls and watched old home movies from when the girls were BABIES last night. I laughed and then I cried a little. I miss them being so little with funny voices and funny faces and they way they thought about things. I love who they are now, but I miss who they used to be. I know....all parents do!

I didn't get many pictures of her last night as she totally avoids me or just makes faces so I don't get anything good of her, but I did get these.

This is her reaction to the card Mark & Sarah got her. It was a dancing hamster and the card plays some funny song I've never heard but evidently is all the rage based on her and Carli's instant break dancin', bustin' a move type of reaction.

Then she got a new black scarf from her sisters. She did this with it 'cuz...ya know...she's 11. And old now.

Then this is her this morning at 6:30 a.m. Bright eyed and bushy tailed! Not. It's the fourth day of school and it's just now hitting them that this getting up early thing stinks! Shoulda listened to mom when I told them to practice getting up early last week and they wouldn't be so tired this week! :0) (oh...check out the scarf being worn properly by an 11 YEAR OLD and not an old lady!)

And so....the ignoring begins.

HAPPY 11th BIRTHDAY, TAYLOR!! I'm so proud of who you are and what you are becoming!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO!!

That's not me anymore....

2009-08-19T08:47:00.003-05:00

While in the throws of a HUGE crisis last evening, I neither yelled nor hurt anyone.

That's not me anymore.

While sitting on the side of the road in a stalled car, running late for soccer practice, too far to walk home, too far to walk to town, I didn't panic (too much) or cry.

That's not me anymore.

Frustrated beyond belief that my car, which I pay too much for each month by the way, is down for the count and the odds that it will need a very large sum of cash to fix it are huge, I neither kicked its tires nor threw myself into on-coming traffic.

That's not me anymore.

Having a man in my life who not only loves me, but wanted to drop everything and "rescue" me was a unique experience. A man who, by just the sound of his voice, pulled me off the ledge of "OMG, NOW WHAT?!?" and back inside to "Everything will be ok".

THAT'S PART OF THE NEW ME.

My car broke down last night. One the side of the road. In the middle of the country. For no apparent reason other than to test my ability to stay calm and show me how far I've truly come in the last three years since Jesus became my BFF.

Anger and hissy fits are sooo last year.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~ James 1:2-4

AMEN and AMEN....

OH...MY...GAWD...Becki, look at those girls...they are SO big....

2009-08-18T09:47:00.012-05:00

Title creatively brought to you by Sir-Mix-A-Lot and his infamous tune "Baby Got Back". Yeah...wait 'til you look below and you'll get what I'm talkin' about.

I'm cheap. Have I told you all that yet? I am. Can't stand to buy the school pictures the girls get taken TWICE a year. I know. TWO times the misery of horrible, posed, never gonna use except for the player cards for soccer, pictures. You know the ones. No offense to any of those people who take school photos but...yuck.

So I have taken matters into my own hands. It's about time. I know.

Yesterday was the first day of school for my kiddos. They are gettin' SO big. Makes me laugh and cry and clap my hands and giggle then cry again.

With this one, my work is almost done here, people. She is a JUNIOR. Yeah, I know. Just last week she was standing in the kitchen butt naked, but for the saggy diaper and her curly white blond hair, I swear.

And when I said..."Hey Y'ALL! Momma wants to run outside a take a few pics of her precious babies!" in my best southern accent, she failed to understand that her paint splattered soccer t-shirt, worn and tattered and lived in would need to be changed for something much more fancy lookin' for SCHOOL PICTURES. Oh well. I happen to think she's gorgeous anyway. 'Cuz she's MY baby.

Corn is so pretty. It is. Just took these while the girls dog piled each other between shots. Thought you might enjoy something farm-ish in this post too. Yep...I'm nice like that.

Oh, my sweet Taylor. My work with this one is headed into its "busy season". She started 6th grade yesterday and is officially in junior high. I seriously would NOT go back to junior high to save my life. And I really like my life but it just ain't happen.

Of all my girls she is the most camera shy. She really just freezes up as soon as I put it to my face. She gives me a goofy smile or closes her eyes...anything to get out of taking a picture. But she is gorgeous. Wish you could see her how I see her....crackin' jokes, laughin', tattlin' on her sisters, trying to be a friend to everyone....even the girls at school who have hurt her. She has learned to love them anyway while guarding her heart. Check out her all natural, God-given mole just below her lip. I so know....very movie-star-ish, don't ya think?

And then comes this kid. Too smart for her own safety, more energy than Alli and Taylor put together, athletic, musically inclined, super photogenic and loves to "pose" as soon as she sees my camera come out of the bag. Carli started 4th grade yesterday and can DO ANYTHING she tries. She is just that girl.

My little corn nuts....

Wow. I really don't have words for the next few other than it's sooooo awesome when I actually get to capture them lovin' each other. :0)

OH....MY....GAWD. Who is their mother?! So rude. Wait. I AM!!!! Hee hee!! LUCKY ME!!!

So our fearless search for the perfect school photo replacement is still in high gear. Just wanted to share round one with y'all. You know....'cuz I can.